UC-NRLF 


27    flMfl 


WITCHES  OF  BIELEFELD 
War  Poems  and  Notes 


By  <3US  L.  GOETHALS 


FIRST  EDITION  SEPTEMBER,  1917 
SECOND  EDITION     .     JUNE,  1918 

CLAYTON,  CALIFORNIA 


c\\ 


GIFT  OF 


V 


The    Witches    of  Bielefeld 
War    Poems    and     Notes 


<By  GUS  L.  GOETHALS 


CLAYTON,    CALIFORNIA 


Copyright: — 1917-1918. 
By    GUS    L.    GOETHAL8 


380873 


WOODROW  WILSON 

President  of  the  United  States 


It  is  a  far  cry  from  the  battle  of  Marathon  to 
the  battle  of  Flanders,  from  the  year  490  B,  C, 
to  the  year  1918  A,  D,,  yet  there  is  a  great 
similarity  between  the  two  great  struggles  for 
liberty,  The  battle  of  Marathon  is  named  as 
the  first  decisive  battle  in  the  history  of  the 
world,  King  Darius  sent  his  satraps,  Datis  and 
Artephernes,  with  a  force  of  one  hundred  thous- 
and men  from  the  Celician  shore  against  the 
coasts  of  Eubea  and  Attica,  They  landed  near 
Marathon,  On  the  slope  of  a  hill  overlooking  the 
plain  of  Marathon,  in  plain  sight  of  the  invading 
Persian  horde,  a  council  of  war  was  in  session 
at  which  were  present  the  War-ruler  Callimachus 
and  ten  Athenian  generals,  The  immediate  sub- 
ject of  their  meeting  was  to  decide  whether 
they  should  give  battle  to  the  enemy  that  lay 
encamped  on  the  shore  beneath  them,  The 
Athenians  were  but  ten  thousand  strong,  and 
although  they  were  hopelessly  outnumbered,  five 
generals  voted  to  give  instant  battle  and  five 
viere  for  awaiting  reinforcement,  which  had 
been  promised  by  the  Spartans,  The  War-ruler 
then  was  to  cast  the  deciding  vote,  Miltiades 
was  the  leader  of  the  five  who  were  for  attack- 


ing  the  invaders  without  delay  and  he  thus  ad- 
dressed the  War-ruler; 

"It  now  rests  with  you,  Callimachus,  either  to  en- 
slave Athens,  or,  by  assuring  her  freedom,  to  win  your- 
self an  immortality  of  fame,  such  as  not  even  Harmodius 
and  Aristogiton  have  acquired;  for  never,  since  the 
Athenians  were  a  people,  were  they  in  such  danger  as 
they  are  in  at  this  moment.  If  they  bow  the  knee  to 
these  Medes,  they  are  to  be  given  up  to  Hippias,  and  you 
know  what  they  then  Avill  have  to  suffer.  But  if  Athens 
comes  victorious  out  of  this  contest,  she  has  it  in  her 
to  become  the  first  city  of  Greece,  Your  vote  is  to 
decide  whether  we  are  to  join  battle  or  not.  If  we  do 
not  bring  on  battle  presently,  some  factious  intrigue  will 
disunite  the  Athenians,  and  the  city  will  be  betrayed  to 
the  Medes.  But  if  we  fight,  before  there  is  anything  rotten 
in  the  State  of  Athens,  I  believe  that,  provided  the  gods 
will  give  fair  play  and  no  favor,  we  are  able  to  get  the 
best  of  it  in  an  engagement." 

The  vote  of  the  brave  War-ruler  was  gained; 
the  council  determined  to  give  battle,  and  such 
was  the  ascendancy  and  acknowledged  military 
genius  of  Miltiades,  that  his  brother-generals, 
one  and  all,  gave  up  their  days  of  command  to 
him  and  cheerfully  acted  under  his  orders, 

From  one  quarter  only'  and  that  from  a  most 
unexpected  one,  did  Athens  receive  aid  at  the 
moment  of  her  great  peril,  Thirty  years  before 
the  Plataeans  being  hard  pressed  by  Thebes,  ap- 
pealed for  help  to  the  king  of  Sparta,  who  ad- 
vised them  to  place  themselves  under  the  pro- 
tection of  Athens,  They  did  so  and  under  that 
protection  they  succeeded  in  retaining  their 
freedom,  Now  when  it  was  noised  about  that 
King  Darius  had  sent  an  army  for  the  destruction 


of  Athens,  the  Plateaus  mustered  one  thousand 
men  who  inarched  to  Marathon,  where  they  ar- 
rived on  the  eve  of  battle  and  placed  themselves 
at  the  disposal  of  Miltiades,  This  help,  which 
came  unasked  and  most  unexpected,  though 
numerically  small,  did  much  to  augment  the 
fighting  spirit  of  the  Athenians  and  forms  one 
of  the  most  affective  episodes  in  the  history  of 
ancient  time, 

At  the  battle  which  took  place  immediately 
after  the  arrival  of  the  brave  and  grateful  Pla- 
taeans,  the  Persian  invaders  were  most  decis- 
ively defeated, 

We  now  come  to  a  parallel  historical  event, 
when  General  John  J,  Pershing,  placed  at  the 
disposal  of  General  Foch  the  American  forces 
under  his  command,  at  the  most  critical  time  of 
the  German  drive  last  March,  That  offer  electri- 
fied France;  enthused  the  British  army;  thrilled 
the  Italians,  the  Belgians  and  Portuguese  and 
placed  an  immortality  of  fame  upon  each  and 
every  American  of  the  present  generation,  The 
brave  Plataeans  did  much  to  help  win  the  victory 
at  Marathon,  and  the  equally  brave  Americans 
were,  figuratively  speaking  the  last  straw  that 
broke  up  the  assault  of  the  Huns,  Like  Miltiades 
Foch  was  placed  in  supreme  command  by  and 
with  the  consent  of  all  Allied  governments  and 
their  people,  In  that  offer  of  General  Pershing 
and  in  the  co-ordinating  of  all  the  fighting  forces 
under  one  supreme  commander  the  hand  of 


President  Wilson  is  most  plainly  seen,  And  the 
historians  of  the  future  will  acclaim  our  President 
as  the  foremost  man  of  this,  the  most  moment- 
ous and  critical  time  in  the  history  of  the  world, 

Now  let  us  go  back  two  thousand  years,  to 
another  statesman  and  a  leader  of  men,  and 
leaving  out  his  military  genius,  the  prototype  of 
Woodrow  Wilson  and  that  statesman's  name  is 
Julius  Caesar,  and  his  experience  with  the  Ger- 
mans is  strikingly  similar  to  that  of  our  Presi- 
dent so  I  will  relate  some  of  Caesar's  acts,  and 
leave  it  to  the  reader  to  make  his  own  compari- 
son between  the  two'  Caesar  the  Roman  and 
Wilson  the  American, 

In  the  year  59,  B,  C,,  Ariovistus,  the  king  of 
the  Germans  invaded  Gaul,  Caesar,  wishing 
to  avoid  war  if  possible,  sent  word  to  Ariovistus, 
asking  that  he  meet  him  at  some  neutral  spot 
to  discuss  the  situation,  The  German  king  re- 
plied that  if  the  Roman  had  anything  to  say  to 
him  he  could  come  and  say  it,  and  added  that 
it  was  none  of  Caesar's  business  what  he  was 
doing  "in  my  part  of  Gaul  which  I  hold  by  right 
of  the  sword",  Caesar  replied  by  warning 
Ariovistus,  not  to  bring  any  more  Germans  into 
Gaul  and  to  release  the  hostages  which  he  held, 
The  German  reply  was  that  he,  Ariovistus,  had 
always  been  victorious,  and  challenged  Caesar 
to  try  his  hand,  Caesar  accepted  the  guage  of 
battle  forced  upon  him  and  by  an  amazing  and 
rapid  march  appeared  with  his  Roman  legions 


at  Besancon,  The  tables  were  turned  and  Ario- 
vistus  asked  for  a  parley  with  Caesar,  The 
conference  proved  not  only  unsatisfactory,  but 
was  abruptly  terminated'  for  the  Germans,  dis- 
regarding the  armistice,  treacherously  attacked 
Caesar's  bodyguard, 

Three  years  later  the  Germans  again  marched 
to  invade  Gaul,  this  time  selecting  a  route 
through  Belgium,  Again  the  Romans  made  a 
quick  march  and  met  the  invaders  near  Cleve, 
Once  more  the  Germans  asked  for  an  armistice, 
which  Caesar  granted,  and  again  the  Germans 
violated  the  armsitice  by  treacherously  as- 
saulting the  Roman  troops,  Caesar  refers  with 
deep  indignation  to  "the  bare  deception  that 
first  asks  for  peace  and  then  openly  begins  war" 
and  declares  that  the  Germans  by  their  act  "had 
put  themselves  outside  the  pale  of  negotiation", 
In  Caesar's  commentaries  on  the  Gallic  and 
civil  wars  he  first  mentions  the  Belgians,  "Of 
all  the  Gallic  races,"  he  says,  "the  Belgians  are 
the  bravest," 

The  great  Roman  general  everywhere  demon- 
strated by  word  and  act  his  fondness  for  the 
Gauls  and  his  deep  .detection  of  the  Germans, 
He  says;  "In  dl  finer  things  of  life  the  Gauls 
are  greatly  superior  to  their  anc'ent  antagon- 
ist," and  he  hardly  ever  mentions  the  Germans 
without  showing  his  hatred  and  contempt,  He 
describes  them  as  harsh,  uncivilized'  violent 
people  whose  whole  life  is  absorbed  in  war  and 


whose  relations  with  foreigners  are  marked  by 
treachery  and  a  disinclination  to  observe  treaties 
and  agreements,  He  refers  to  them  as  "that 
treacherous  race"  which  is  bred  up  from  the 
cradle  to  war  and  rapine,  And  yet  after  two 
thousand  years  we  find  no  change  except  for 
the  worse,  for  now  they  murder  without  respect 
for  age  or  sex,  and  as  a  pastime  they  mutilate 
their  victims,  Small  wonder  that  the  whole 
civilized  world  today  entertains  the  same  opin- 
ion of  the  Huns  as  was  expressed  by  Julius 
Caesar  two  thousand  years  ago, 

So  the  Allies  are  determined  to  gain  a  com- 
plete and  decisive  victory  over  Germany,  and 
they  accept  Woodrow  Wlison  as  their  spokes- 
man when  our  President  in  effect  says;  "We 
do  not  fight  for  any  indemnity  nor  for  any  con- 
quest of  other  people's  lands,  nor  for  any  re- 
ward, only  to  make  the  world  a  free  and  decent 
place  to  live  in,"  But  a  feeling  has  taken  deep 
root  in  the  hearts  of  all  the  brave  soldiers  on 
the  field  of  battle,  for  a  tangible  and  ocular 
evidence  as  proof  of  Victory  and  that  feeling  is 
expressed  in  three  words;  "ON  TO  BERLIN!" 
And  when  the  baffled  Huns  are  put  on  the  run, 
a  mighty  cheer  will  go  up  of  "ON  TO  BERLIN!" 
which  may  prove  too  strong  for  the  Government 
leaders  at  home  or  the  generals  in  the  field  to 
deny  or  withstand,  Our  own  brave  boys  will 
certainly  demand  it  as  a  boon;  the  English  will 
acclaim  it  as  a  right;  the  French  will  insist  upon 


it  as  a  matter  of  justice;  the  Italians  will  insist 
upon  it  in  memory  of  their  beloved  Caesar; 
the  Belgians  and  the  Portuguese  will  sustain  the 
demand  of  their  friend  and  protector'  Great 
Britain,  and  may  God  grant  it  to  them, 

GUS  L,  GOETHALS, 
Clayton,  May  25th,  1918, 


Copyright:    1918:    by   (ius   I..    (Joctlials 


Since  the  fateful  days  of  August,  1914, 
when  the  German  Emperor  turned  loose  his 
horde  of  murdering  Huns  upon  the  soil  of  Bel- 
gium, I  have  written  several  articles  pertaining 
to  the  present  war,  which  were  published  in  the 
Martinez  Gazette,  Pittsburg  Post  and  the  Con- 
cord Transcript,  of  Contra  Costa  County  Cal- 
ifornia, And  having  been  importuned  to  have 
those  articles  in  booklet  form,  I  agreed  to  the 
solicitations  of  my  friends,  So  to  those  verses 
heretofore  published  I  have  added  'The  Witches 
of  Bielefeld,"  and  an  appendix  of  notes,  The 
Witches  of  Bielefeld  was  written  to  emphasize 
the  historical  fact  that  no  invader  has  ever 
succeeded,  If  the  old  adage  that  "History  re- 
peats itself"  continues  to  rule,  which  in  the 
case  of  Kaiser  Wilhelm  II,  I  firmly  believe  will 
so  continue,  then  we,  and  our  Allies,  need  have 
no  fear  of  the  ultimate  results  of  the  gigantic 
struggle, 

Since  the  day  of  the  battle  of  the  Marne, 
in  the  forepart  of  September,  1914,  I  have 
always  maintained  that  the  Germans  were  doom- 
ed, For  those  Germans  who  still  cherish  the 
hope  of  a  Teutonic  victory  I  have  a  certain  de- 
gree of  sympathy,  but  must  say  this,  and  say 


it  in  their  own  language,  "Gottes  Muehle  geht 
langsam  aber  die  mahlt  fein,"  and  they  should 
bear  in  mind  that  the  Allies  are  firmly  united, 
hopeful  and  sanguine  of  a  victory  which  in 
the  end  will  prove  to  be  for  a  better  and  a  re- 
generated Germany,  Moreover,  Time  is  not  of 
the  essence  of  their  contract,  as  it  was  with  the 
plans  of  the  Kaiser's  general  staff,  when  on 
their  march  to  Paris,  Their  time  piece  proved 
to  finely  and  delicately  made — a  grain  of  sand 
stopped  it — that  grain  of  sand  was  BELGIUM, 

GUS  L,  GOETHALS 
Clayton,  California 
September  1,  1917 


GUS  L.  GOETHALS 


Oh,  say,  William  Jennings  Bryan, 
The  Dogs  of  War  are  loose; 

Your  Dove  of  Peace  has  flown  the  coop— 
Your  office  you  may  lose, 

You  said  you  would  not  take  that  job 
If  you  thought  we'd  have  a  war, 

While  drawing  that  twelve  thousand  per 
From  Uncle  Sam's  pay  car, 

So  if  you  meant  just  what  you  said 

You'll  never,  never  sign 
A  document  that  smacks  of  war, 

For  surely  you'll  resign, 

Let  Woodrow  get  a  better  man, 
A  man  who'll  clear  the  deck 

Of  lectures  from  the  ship  of  state, 
And  take  Chapultepec, 

April    21st,    1'914. 


ar  Jfrom  ^  ta  2. 

v_  j  v_ 


As  Albert,  at  Antwerp  awaited  Albion's  army 
Bold  Bavarians  battered  Belgium's  battlements, 
Ceaselessly  cannonading,  constantly  concrete  crumbled, 
Dover's  denizens  dismayed  declared  decampment, 
Effectively  embarks  elusiveiy  enters  Europe, 
Fiercely  fighting  France's  foresworn  foe,  firm  footed, 
Gruesome,  gory  ground  gains  grim  German  grenadiers, 
"Hock,  hip  hurrah!"  his  holy  Highness  hooted 
Inflexible  Imperialist — insatiable  invador, 
Justly  Jehovah  judges  jesting  jumping  jacks, 
Kings,    Kadis,    Kerns — kirk  kneeling  knaves — keep 

kindred, 

Liege,  Luxemburg,  Louvain  low  living  lacks, 
Martial    men    meet    men,    Mordkessel    marks    meanderini 

Marne, 

Napoleon's  Nemesis,  now  nerved  no  Nelson  Needs, 
Onward  Orleans,  Odessa,  Oporto,  Ottawa, 
Protecting  Paris,  persuing  Prussians  precede, 
Quatrebras  quickly  quieted  Quixotic  quarrels, 
Russia,  remembering,  rushes  regiments  'round, 
So,  surely  seeking  Slavonic  sway, 
Thru  Tripoly  Teutons  tersely  Turkey  tempted, 
Unum  universal  Usufruct  Uhlans  undertakes, 
Verisimilous  Varus  victory  ventured, 
World  wonders  why  will  warring  Wilhelm  worship 
Xerxes,  Xebecs,  Xerophim,  Xystarch  xeloidine, 
Ypres'  Yarmouth's  yieldless  yeomanry, 
Zealously  Zwarte  Zeppelins  Zig-zags, 

January   10th,   1915. 


Great  Combination 


(Euts  atth  (Era£0mg0  in  tlje 
of  %  -Hlorlh 


Alexander  the  Great  cuts  the  Gordian  knot 
and  becomes  the  Conqueror  of  the  world, 

Julius  Caesar  crosses  the  Rubicon  and 
Rome  becomes  the  mistress  of  the  world, 

The  Spanish  Armada  crosses  the  English 
Channel!  and  England  becomes  the  mistress  of 
the  Sea, 

Washington  crosses  the  Delaware  and  the 
United  States  becomes  the  Free  Land  for  all  the 
world, 

Woodrow  Wilson  cuts  and  crosses  the  path 
of  William  the  Hun  and  we  become  the  guardian 
for  the  Freedom  of  the  Sea, 

Febrary   8th,    1917. 


A  mighty  hunter,  of  small  game, 
Unfurled  the  Prussian  flag— 

With  poison,  guns  and  various  traps 
Set  out  to  fill  his  BAG, 

His  High  Command,  the  General  Staff, 
Had  given  him  their  highest  Tip, 

"We'll  win  ere  England  strikes  a  blow", 
And  Billy  said  then  let  'er  R  I  P, 

All  lawful  rules  they  cast  aside, 
As  wallow  hogs  in  bloody  mire; 

They  marched  through  the  best  preserves 
Which  then  and  there  they  set  on  F  I  R  E, 

Then  gayly  started  on  their  trip, 

Boasting  of  their  victory, 
But  the  English,  French  and  Irish 

Gave  them  no  chance  to  see  P  A  R  I  S, 

So,  to  heaven  he  bawled  command, 

Gott  strafe  England  she  did  most  harm, 

She  is  still  defending  Belgium 

From  our  strong  and  bloody  ARM, 

"Verdun?"  too  soon  the  answer  came, 
It  made  the  Allies  sure  they'll  win 

And  on  the  Somme  they're  going  some, 
And  the  going  is  to  B  E  R  L  I  N, 


The  German  crown  is  marked,  "For  Sale", 
So  there  are  three  that  have  the  TAG, 

Three  crowned  heads  fear  people's  vengeance 
Three  guilty  of  a  fighting  J  A  G, 

Now  the  Kaiser  prays  to  heaven; 

"Please  Got,  don't  let  England  strafe  Me 
As  she  did  old  Bonaparte, 

Don't  let  her  banish  me  to  S  E  A," 

Oct.    26,    1916 


of  jVpril  t*  ^ottttf  of 
m 


Says   Uncle  Sam  to   Kaiser  William; 

"I'm  tired  of  writing  notes, 
Now  going  to  spend  a  Billion 

To  hunt  and  sink  U  Boats, 

"You've  April  fooled  me  twice  to  date 
And  have  one  more  a  coming, 

'Cause  on  a  Sunday  I  surely  hate 
To  start  and  go  a  gunning,  • 

"Do  your  worst  Mister  Hohenzollern, 
Your  last  Fool's  Day  is  near, 

Full  well  you  know  'Du  hast  verlohren1 
Monday  from  me  you'll  hear, 


n  i 


Twont  help  you  much  to  hide  behind 

The  Hlddenburglars'   Line; 
By  Heck  its  good  to  make  your  kind 
Their  Abdication  sign, 

"You  know  my  lucky  Month  is  April- 
Look  up  my  list  of  Scraps; 
'Fore  I  get  through  with  you,  dear  Bill, 
You'll  pack  your  royal  traps," 

March   27th,    1917. 


The  Jlag  of  Victory 


,JU1 


From  'Frisco  Bay  to  Washington 

Is  heard  the  Warlike  song; 
"We  are  with  you,   Woodrow  Wilson, 

A  Hundred   Million  strong," 

From  pole  to  pole  the  echo  comes, 
Throughout  the  night  and  day: 

"We're  'gainst  the  Hohenzollerns, 
And  we'll  back  the  U,  S,  A," 

Above  the  Cannon's  roar  is  heard 

The  cry  of  vanquished  Huns; 
"We  yield  to  you  Brave  Kainarad, 

So  take  our  useless  Guns," 

The  English  Tommy — the  French  Poilu 
Press  onward  just  the  samej_ 

"No  time,"  they  shout,  "to  tend  to  you- 
We're  after  bigger  game, 

May     15,     1917 


Behold  the  self-appointed  peace  maker, 
Who  butts  in,  on  the  scrap  across  the  pond, 

He's  a  faker, 

Of  a  Quaker, 
He'd  free  burglars  without  bond, 

He  wants  to  stop,  with  lamentation, 
Straffing  of  "Deutschland  ober  alles", 
For  spoliation 
Of  small  nation, 
Due  the  Germans  from  the  Allies, 

He'd  let  the  Prussian  keep  his  hand  and  foot 
Ton  every  inch  of  Belgian  soil, 

And  doesn't  care  a  hoot 

'Bout  stolen  loot, 
But  fears  the  jingle  of  a  foil, 

He'd  meekly  let  invaders  fire  his  home, 
He  was  not  raised  to  be  a  soldier  boy, 

His  spinal  column 

A  streak  of  chrome 
Of  yellow  color  without  alloy, 

No  English  Tommy,  no  French  Poilu 
Now  on  the  Somme  or  at  Verdun, 

Invited  you 

Or  asked  you  to 
Make  peace  before  their  job  is  done, 


If  you  mean  business  you'll  get  busy, 
For  you'll  have  to  fight  to  stop  that  fight, 

Don't  be  a  Sissy, 

Don't  talk  silly, 
Jump  in  the  ring  and  prove  you're  right, 

Be  first  in  war  and  first  in  peace  and  then 
You  will  be  first  in  the  hearts  of  all 

Your  countrymen 

As  Washington, 
Who  bravely  answered   a  fighting  call, 

December   8th,   1916. 


m  (Hmtrang 


That  "Hack  our  way  through  Belgium  plan," 

-World's  greatest  infamy, 
Against  all  law  of  God  and  Man- 
Was  "Made  in  Germany," 

The  Zeppelin — with    Bodies   wild- 
Dropping  bombs  most  savagely, 
To  kill  a  woman  or  a  child, 
Was  "Made  in  Germany," 

The  Submarine,  by  Kaiser  sent, 

To  sink  all  ships  at  sea,- 
No  warning  gives — on  murder  bent, 

Were  "Made  in  Germany," 

That  devilish  death  dealing  Gas, 

Used  with  most  fiendish  glee- 
Which  for  foul  murder  heads  the  class- 
Is  "Made  in  Germany," 

Like  wild  beasts,  Huns  now  madly  spring 
Against  all  humanity, 
And  boast  that  all  death  dealing  things 
Are  "Made  in  Germany," 

The  Kaiser  soon  will  leave  Berlin, 
To  get  new  deviltry, 
He'll  sure  find  some,  when  he  goes  in 
Hell,  "Made  in  Germany," 

June   19,   1916 


ia 


The  Eastern  Line  is  Wabbling  to  the  West, 

By  Russian  bayonet  charges, 
The  Western  Line  in  fear — is  running  East, 

From  British  and  French  Barrages, 

No  more  does  Kaiser  William  strut  about 
The  East  or  Western  battle  line, 

He  is  too  busy  picking  out  a  route 
To  run  ere  Roosevelt  sees  the  Rhine, 

For  when  those  lines  shall  mingle  into  one 
Our  Yankee  boys  will  then  fall  in, 

In  spite  of  all  or  any  German  Von, 
They'll  form  the  Bee  Line  to  Berlin, 

With  Old  Glory  they'll  get  there  sure  as  fate, 
If  those  von  Mutts  keep  up  that  fight; 

Then  like  rats — from  the  German  ship  of 
State- 
All  the  pirates  will  take  flight, 

And  bitterly  the  Kaiser  will  complain 
'Gainst  him  who  wielded  the  "Big  Stick," 

"It's  your  fault,  Teddy,  that  I  raised  Cain, 
You  said  the  whole  world  I  could  lick," 

"Sure  Bill,"  Teddy  will  reply,  "I  said  that, 
But  did'nt  want  to  cross  your  son, 

Nor  hurt  your  feelings  so  I  left  this  out 
"ABER  NIT— The  spot  I  live  on," 

May   10,   1917 


'*  |£amettt 


I  organized  the  Plunderbund, 

And   Europe  painted   Red, 
They  now  call  us  the  Blunderbund— 

Blame  Me  for  all  the  dead, 

ME!     The  Chief  and  the  high  Galoot 

Of  the  Germanic  Mutts, 
That  soon  from  me  will  get  the  Boot 

For  all  are  going  'Nuts', 

They  told  me  England  was  a  runt 

And  would  not  play  the  cards, 
But  Brittons  were  the  first  to  hunt 

And  kill  my  Prussian  Guards- 
Said  that  in  France  my  Clownish  Son, 

Fair  Paris  would  surely  take, 
But  soon  those  polius  made  them  run— 

Their  plans  turned  out  a  fake, 

They  bet  me  Yankees  would  not  dare 

Fight  our  murdering  Band, 
But  hell,  they're  at  it  now,  for  fair, 

To  make  us  all  disband, 

Now,  I'll  never  wear  upon  my  coat 
"Kaiser  Wilhelm  the  Great," 

They'll  write  it  plain:  "The  Billy  Goat," 
For  Wilson  means  that  straight, 


Before  the  Peoples'  Goat  I'll  be 
I'll  take  the  drummers  Route— 

I'll  go  to  old  Milwaukee 
And    peddle    sauerkraut'1 

May    15,    1917 


fag  m  ®lpit 


Oh!  Soldier  Boy,  of  you  we're  proud, 

For  you  we'll  daily  pray, 
For  a  safe  return  to  your  fireside 

In  the  good  old  U,  S,  A, 

God  help  you  to  fight  the  U-boats 
For  the  "Freedom  of  the  Sea," 

To  make  it  safe  for  all  that  floats, 
With  Neutrals  F,  0,  B, 

At  Valley  Forge,  your  father's  chance 

To  win  looked  rather  blue; 
When   Washington  appealed  to   France, 

The  French  came  P,  D,  Q, 

Now  that  the  Frenchmen  need  our  aid, 

Uncle  Sam  depends  on  YOU 
To  go  and  prove  you're  not  afraid 

To  pay  off  that  I,  0,  U, 

And  curb  the  Kaiser's  warring  way 

By  making  Europe  free 
Of  kings  with  military  sway, 

So  we  can  R,  I,  P, 

You'll  meet  some  who  love  the  Kaisers- 
Who'll  try  their  best  to  switch 

You  to  line  up  with  traitors- 
Tell  such  to  G,  T,  H, 

June    15,    1917 


'Betrayed 


THE    PANDERER: — "Come    on;    come   on   and   be   kissed   by   him, 


i  am  the  relentless  foe  of  Life, 

I  strike  true  to  the  Mark, 
And  must  fulfill  my  measured   strife 

Allotted    by  the   Stork, 

They  slander  me  that  say  I  Grin 

Ton  war's  bloody  battles: 
Have  I,  forsooth,  more  lives  to  win 

When    empty    scabbards    rattle? 

Tis  then  I  heroes  make  of  all 

Who  dare  to  challenge  Me, 
And  heroes  know  that  some  must  fall 

To  set  the  living  free 

They  often  die  that  live  in  fear, 

So  bravely  fear  renounce, 
For  your  reward, — though  I  come  near- 

You'll  live — and  die  but  once, 

July     2,     1917 


to 


"Vive  \QS  enfant  de  L'Amerique", 
That  never  met  defeat— 

The  Atlantic  and  Pacific 

They'll  free  before  they  quit, 

They  salted  England's  breakfast  tea, 
While  dressed  in  Indian  style, 

Then  fought  as  bravely  to  be  free 
As  Greeks  at  Thermopyle, 

Rolled  up  Mexico's  Tortillos, 
Then  took  Chapultepec> 

And  lately  drove  Villistos 
From  Texas  to  Tepic, 

They  beat  Spain  in  a  Fandango 

Upon  Manila  Bay, 
And  another  at  Santiago- 
Sent  Spaniards  home  to  stay- 
Soon  on  the  Rhine  they'll  fish  for  trout, 

But  when  they  get  a  smell 
Of  old  Limburger  and  Sauerkraut, 

They'll  give  the  Rebel  Yell- 
Then  lay  the  Prussians  low  and  flat 

In  spite  of  Cannon  tails, 
And  bat  that  Hohenzollern  Brat 
Till  Papa  Kaiser  falls- 
July  10th,  1917. 


oA(o  Laughing  cMatter 


Philadelphia  Pro; 

THE    KAISER: — "Don't    laugh,    son,    that's   the   man    who   is   ruining 
the  royalty  business," 


JV  planting 

How  long,  Oh,  Huns,  will  you  abuse 

The  patience  of  your  Host? 
When  will  you  cease  to  interfere 

With  patriots  at  their  post? 

By  ways  as  foul  as  submarines, 
With  spying  periscope, 

You  try  to  sink  our  Ship  of  State-- 
Strike all  within  your  scope, 

You  left  your  country  joyfully, 

Were  welcomed  to  our  Land, 
The  Land  you  swore  you  would  uphold, 

Took  oath  you  would  defend, 

That  Mark  on  Cain  was  but  a  scratch 

To  yours  of  infamy, 
For  all  your  crimes  you  have  prefaced 

By  that  of  perjury, 

Because  our  sons  are  now  in  France 
Our  thoughts  run  'cross  the  sea 

So  please  don't  monkey  with  our  switch 
Or  you'll  hang  to  a  tree, 

November   17,    1917 


We'll  make  the  Desolater  desolate; 

Of  Victory  he'll  soon  cease  to  prate, 
That  Arbiter  of  small  Nation's  fate, 

Now  for  his  own  does  supplicate, 

Hear  not  his  cry  for  peace,  for  'tis  the  knell 

Of  Liberty  and  false  as  helL 
But  heed  the  wail  from  Lusitania's  shell, 

Of  murdered  ones  his  Huns  did  fell, 

Tis  time  to  choose  between  Autocracy, 

Under  that  Brute  of  Germany, 
And  our  President  with  Democracy 

Forever  free  from  Tryanny, 

The  world  has  chosen  Him,  Woodrow  Wilson, 
Who  can  and  will  make  peace,  Oh,  Hun, 

And  ere  ye  shall  pass  the  buck  to  your  son 
You'll  meet  his  Yankee  Sons  o'  Gun, 

November   14,    1917 


f  aciffet 


Ere  they  used  the  poisonous  shell 
It  had  been  said  that  "War  is  hell, 

Yet  William  was  more  than  willing 
For  the  foulest  ways  of 


He,  for  a  peaceful  Land  did  crave; 

Land  of  the  bravest  of  the  brave, 
There  hurled  mad  Huns  through  Belgium's  gate. 

And  won  the  World's  undying  hate, 

Now  shunned  by  all  whom  he  defied, 

Conscience  stricken  and  terrified, 
He  tries  to  stem  his  homing  Huns 

Who  flee  from  our  avenging  guns, 

He  proffers  us  the  olive  branch 
While  planning  to  defraud  the  French, 

But  where's  the  fool  would  trust  a  Hun 
While  he  retains  a  trench  or  gun? 

He's  here,  he's  there,  most  everywhere, 

Pro-German  Pacifist  for  fair, 
That  sulks  when  Kaiser  meets  defeat 

And  smiles  when  Berlin  says  we're  beat, 

One  lives  next  door  to  you,  if  not, 
Across  your  street  you'll  find  a  lot, 

So  sail  right  in  and  soak  the  Mutt 
That  smiles,  for  Kaiser,  as  he  struts, 

November    20,    1917 


Jfmhthm  3iaI0tetn 

v J    *+J    9  4^}     \^_   y 


Good  old  Ben  Jones  raised  grain  and  wool, 
Across  the  road  lived  Wiliam  Brown, 

Who  kept  a  fighting  Holstein  Bull, 
A  terror  to  tear  fences  down, 

One  day  Bill  Brown  unbarred  his  Bull 
And  stable  doors  he  opened  wide, 

Then  cracked  his  whip,  just  like  a  fool, 
Upon  the  beast's  tough,  blooming  hide, 

Out  shot  the  Bull,  and  took  the  gate 

Of  the  corral  upon  its  horns, 
Jones  saw  him  come  and  pulled  his  freight, 

Made  tracks  for  home  to  get  his  sons, 

When  he  reached  home,  said  he  to  all 
His  Boys,  that  had  gathered  around, 

"Bill's  Holstein  Bull  has  left  his  stall, 
Go,  kill  him  ere  he  tramps  our  ground," 

Said  John,  the  oldest,  "Dad,  'taint  right" 
To  send  us  boys  to  other  lands, 

If  he  comes  here  why  then  we'll  fight," 
John  won  and  Jones  threw  up  his  hands, 

So  the  Bull  he  had  the  freedom 
Of  all  the  road  and  wild  did  run, 

Along  Jones'  fence  he  made  things  hum, 
While  Bill  looked  on  and  thought  it  fun, 


i 
I 
-i 

1 


That  Bull  he  smashed,  in  just  a  week, 
A  dozen  rigs,  killed  many  sheep 

And  lambs  galore,    What  made  Jones  sick 
Was,  none  would  put  that  brute  to  sleep, 

Now,  when  no  living  thing  would  come, 
Or  could  be  seen  along  that  road, 

John  saw  the  Bull  a-going  some, 
Tearing  the  fence  down,  board  by  board, 

John  aimed  and  fired,  but  his  shot  went  wild, 
He  cussed,  he  turned  and  ran  away, 

Both  he  and  Bull  raced  'cross  the  field, 
Straight  for  the  kitchen  door,  and  say, 

The  whole  darn  family  saw  that  race, 
But  none  came  out  to  shoo  that  Bull, 

Said  Jones,  "John's  coming  to  our  place" 
"To  fight  according  to  his  rule," 

"Here,  you  women  folks,  take  the  kids," 
Hike  for  the  barn,  the  boys  and  I, 

Will  do  some  glorius  warlike  deeds, 
By  gosh,  today  that  Bull'll  die," 

They  let  John  in  and  shut  the  door, 
Then  Jones  he  took  the  matter  cool, 

Firm-footed  en  the  kitchen  floor, 
Awaited  William's  Holstein  Bull, 

Soon  came  an  awful  jar  and  crash, 
The  Bull  broke  through,  the  k'tchen  wall, 
Knocked  four  men  down,  then  made  a  dash 
Through  every  room  and  every  ha!1, 


Though  each  man  had  a  hickory  stick, 
No  two  fought  in  the  self-same  room, 

So  that  Holstein  had  a  picnic 
As  household  goods  flew  up  the  flume, 

Jones  called  for  a  consultation, 

"Boys,"  said  he,  as  he  clenched  his  fist; 
"Fall  in  line  in  massed  formation, 

We'll  fight  as  one  and  get  that  beast," 

When  he  met  four  men,  good  and  strong, 
He  turned  and  in  the  pantry  rushed, 

The  floor  gave  way  and  he  headlong 
Down  in  the  concrete  cellar  crashed, 

Just  then  Pete  Olson,  Bill's  hired  man, 
Came  up  to  have  a  "Parley  Vous," 

He  held  in  hand  a  spick  and  span 
New  cotton  rope  and  halter  too, 

"Gude  marning  Meester  Yones,"  he  said, 
"I  ban  sent  heer  by  Meester  Brown, 

Dos  fence  he  faix,  I  tank  he  paid, 
Nu  fer  his  Bool  I  bane  coom  down," 

"I,"  Jones  replied,  "Made  up  my  mind," 
To  get  along  without  a  fence," 

I'll  tear  down  Bill's  offensive  kind, 
Then  won't  need  none  for  my  defense," 

"But  first  I'll  kill  and  cook  the  Bull, 
"Pete"  you  tell  Bill  what  I  tell  you; 

If  he  follows  the  Golden  Rule, 
He  can  come  to  the  barbecue," 


We  knew  Ben  Jones  meant  all  he  said, 
For  he  yanked  up  a  hitching  post 

Then  whacked  that  Bull  across  the  head, 
And  William's  pet  gave  up  the  ghost, 

"Burn  up  the  house,"  yelled  Jones,  "I'm  boss," 

I'll  leave  no  salvage  for  Rebate, 
"I'll  make  Bill  pay  a  total  loss, 

His  Bull  Clause  I'll  not  tolerate, 


" 


When  Pete  got  back  he  told  Bill  all, 
Bill  took  the  rope  from  Peter's  hand, 

dumb  up  a  tree,  good  strong  and  tall, 
Jumped  off  but  never  hit  the  ground, 

Bill  did  a  first  class  job,  you  bet, 

Pete  said  "Dar  rope  ban  strong  tank  you," 
"It  hurts  me  gude,  alretty  yet" 

"I  go  tu  Yonyes  barbecoo," 

December  23,   1917 


Somewhere  in  France  they're  putting  up 

A  three  ring  circus  tent, 
The  Ticket  Agents  are  around 

And  seats  are  now  for  rent, 

Somewhere  in  dear  old  U,  S,  A, 
Twas  planned  to  give  that  Show, 

Elsewhere  Pro-German  Mutts  all  said 
"U-Boats  won't  let  you  Go," 

Somewhere  get  tickets  for  that  Show, 
Buy  from  the  Red  Cross  Man, 

And  buy  one  stamped  Y,  M,  C,  A, 
Take  two,  take  all  you  can, 

Somewhere — most  anywhere,  I'm  sure, 

You'll  meet  a  K,  of  C, 
Pay  him  for  one;  he'll  send  it  to 

Some  orphan  'cross  the  sea, 

Somewhere  along  the  fighting  front, 

Within  that  Yankee  Show, 
They'll  treat  you  to  a  royal  time 

You'll  see  Huns  on  the  go, 

Somewhere  on  center  pole  you'll  see 

The  EAGLE  we've  let  go, 
Inside  the  tent  the  ringmaster, 

Jack  Pershing,  runs  our  show, 


Somewhere  in  No  Man's  Land,  our  boys, 

Whirl  'round  the  wireless  loop, 
For  clown  they  have  a  silly  Prince, 

A  pure  bred  Nincompoop, 

Somewhere,  nowhere  elsewhere  they  say 

All  animals  are  loose, 
The  Lion,  Wolf  and  Kangaroo 

Play  with  the  young  Cayuse, 

Somewhere  the  Bear  now  hibernates, 

When  freed  he  left  the  ring, 
We'll  let  him  slumber  all  he  wants, 
For  he'll  come  back  next  spring, 

Somewhere,  we  can't  tell  where  just  now, 

Sometime  before  next  fall, 
They'll  surely  catch  and  cage,  to  show 

One  animal — that's  all, 

Somewhere  along  the  Rhine  he  prowls, 

That  beast  we  call  "the  Hun," 
The  Lion,  Eagles  and  the  Wolf 

Now  have  him  on  the  run, 
Somewhere  they'll  use  another  cage, 

Inside  the  tented  show, 
For  that  double  headed  Eagle 

That  failed  to  reach  the  Po, 
Somewhere  in  France  some  sight  you'll  see 

When  starts  the  Grand  Parade, 

Sametime  Our  Eagle  leave  his  perch 

For  Berlin  unafraid, 

February    4,    1918 


parser  Jfrom  JV.  ta 


Atrocious,  Arrant  Assassin, 
Belgium's  Bloody,  Brutal  Butcher, 
Cherusi's  Craven,  Cruel  Chief, 
Denizen's  Devilish  Debaucher, 
Envenomed  Europe's  Enlightenment, 
Fiendish,  Freebooting  Firebrand, 
Germany's  Gory,   Ghoulish  Gnome, 
Hated    Hellish  Hohenzollern  Hound, 
Infamous  Imp,  Imperator, 
Janus-Jowled,  Jabbering  Jacchus, 
Kirk-Kneeling,  Kindred  Killing  Knave, 
Low-Lived,   Loathsome,   Lurching,   Louse, 
Mulish,  Murdering  Mountebank, 
Narrowminded,  Nameless  Noodle, 
Outrageous  Official  Outlaw, 
Prussia's  Paralytic  Poodle, 
Queer,  Quarrelsome  Quadruflushen 
Ruthless,  Ruffianized  Robber  Rex, 
Soured,  Sacriligious  Sycophant, 
Teaching  Turks  Terrible  Teuton  Tricks, 
Unlawfully  Unleashed  U-Boats, 
Vicious  Vampire,  Verdun's  Victim, 
Wildly,  Wilfully  Waged  War  With 
Xerxes,  Xystarch,  Xebecs,  Xeloidin, 
Ye  Yahooed  Ye  Young  Yoemanry, 
Zany-Zollern  Zernined  Zeppelins, 

March    17,    1918 


<A  Forceful  Speaker 


of 


Bold  Barons  met  King  John  at  Runnymede, 
There  forced  the  Charter  in  his  hand 

He  signed  indeed 

-For  England's  need- 
"A  Scrap  of  Paper"  to  rule  the  land, 

Martin  Luther,  with  Holy  Writ  in  hand, 
Indulgences  boldly  hurled 

From  his  native  land 

And  did  defend 
"A  Scrap  of  Paper"  'gainst  the  world, 

A  band  of  patriots  met  in  Fanueil  Hall, 
There  did  declare  for  Liberty, 

At  their  Country's  call 

They  signed,  for  all, 
"A  Scrap  of  Paper,"  to  be  Free, 

And  for  the  best — the  Union  to  sustam- 
Abraham  Lincoln  gave  the  decree, 

"In  this  Domain 

No  slaves  retain"- 
"A  Scrap  of  Paper"  set  them  free, 

"Free  tolls  for  our  ships"  so  Congress  declared 
Ungrudgingly  they  did  retract 

When  Wilson  said, 

As  his  Message  read, 
"  'A  Scrap  of  Paper'  you  must  respect," 

January   24th,   1915. 


Jfflrrtmg  on 


The  German  Staff  had  planned  it  fine 
To  cross  the  Belgium  neutral  line, 

On  August  Fourth 

They  sallied  forth 
While  singing  the  "Wacht  am  Rhine," 

And  they  crossed  with  flying  colors, 
For  von  Emmech  had  his  orders, 

"Without  delay 

To  hack  his  way' 
Through  Belgium  and  on  to  Paris," 

Where  the  Kaiser — such  was  his  boast- 
Said  he'd  eat  his  quail  on  toast, 

And  named  the  day 

He'd  have  his  way, 
In  six  weeks  he'd  meet  Mine  Host, 

But  came  one  fair  September  morn, 
Close  to  the  winding  river  Marne, 

There  old  von  Kluck 

Was  thunder  struck- 
Of  victory  he  was  shorn, 

Then  at  Verdun,  the  butchers  bill 
-Already  high— rose  higher  still; 

There  the  Crown  Prince 

Made  Germans  wince, 
For  Frenchmen  had  learned  the  way  to  kill 


Yet  he  made  some  gains — here  a  trench, 
And  there  some  cannon  from  the  French— 

But  he  observes 

That  his  reserves 
Are  all  used  up,  both  root  and  branch, 

Now  they  fight — not  to  free  the  sea— 
Nor  yet  for  weal  of  Germany— 

To  save  the  crown 

For  a  young  clown, 
Which  would  be  lost — with  soldiers  free, 

The  day  of  reckoning  now  draws  near, 
The  "Writing  on  the  Wall"  is  clear  - 

It  is  "REPUBLIC" 

Not  "Dynastic" 
That  is  the  Kaiser's  mortal  tear, 

April    10th,     1916. 


ttfy  (isrmatm, 


Old  Kaiser  Wilhelm,  he  bellowed  and  roared, 
I'll  carve  a  place  in  the  Sun  with  my  Sword, 

I,  the  Annointed— 

By  God  appointed, 
The  scourge  of  man,  as  Etzel  of  old, 

His  roar  awoke  the  sleeping  Russian  bear, 
And  roused  the  Brittish  Lion  from  its  lair; 

The  Eagle  of  France 

Flew  to  its  lance, 
While  brave  Belgians  called  his  bluff  of  hot  air, 

They're  willing  now  to  give  him  all  of  the  sun, 
But  off  of  the  earth  he  must  go  with  his  son, 

And  we'll  get  along 

With  Germans  as  long 
As  they're  free  from  the  sway  of  a  Hun, 

April    24th,    1916 


HINDENBURG:    "H/S  NAME,  SIRE,  WAS  BYNG" 


WHEREAS,  Democracy,  defender  of  Peace, 
Justice  and  Humanity,  is  threatening  the  fall  of 
the  Hohenzollern  Dynasty,  and  the  death  rate 
is  so  low  that  Charon  will  be  compelled  to  cease 
ferrying  the  Dead  across  the  Styx;  and 

WHEREAS,  His  Satanic  Majesty,  Asmodeus, 
King  of  the  Devils,  complains  that  there  are  too 
many  sacred  buildings  dedicated  to  the  saving  of 
souls,  his  kingdom  does  not  now  receive  its  due 
proportion  of  lost  souls; 

NOW  THEREFORE,  in  order  to  remedy  the 
foregoing  evils,  His  Imperial  Majesty,  Kaiser 
Wilhelm  II,  His  Satanic  Majesty,  Asmodeus,  and 
Grim  Death  have  appointed  Plenipotentiaries! 
Kaiser  Wilhelm  II,  Gen,  Von  Moltke,  His  Satanic 
Majesty,  Asmodeus,  Lieutenant  Mephistopheles, 
and  Grim  Death,  Lord  High  Executioner,  Major 
General  Mower,  who  having  communicated  to 
each  other  their  full  powers  have  agreed  upon 
the  following  Articles; 

Article  I,  His  Imperial  Majesty  Kaiser 
Wilhelm  II  is  commanded  to  have  his  agent  at 
Rome,  unlock  and  open  the  Gates  of  the  Temple 
of  Janus,  And  in  order  to  delay  the  day  of 
Peace,  said  agent  shall  cast  the  keys  into  the 
Tiber, 

Article  II,     The  slaughter    of    Democratic 


People  shall  begin  within  Sixty  Days  from  the 
date  of  the  Exchanges  of  Ratifications  of  this 
Treaty, 

Article  III,  In  order  that  there  shall  be 
more  lost  Souls,  Shooting,  Poisoning  and  Drown- 
ing, shall,  whenever  possible,  be  done  without 
warning,  And  no  distinction  shall  be  observed 
between  Belligerents  and  Neutrals,  nor  as  be- 
tween Men,  Women  and  Children, 

Article  IV,  And  His  Imperial  Majesty  Kai- 
ser Wilhelm  II  agrees  with  the  High  Contracting 
Parties,  that  he  shall  spare  no  Church  nor  Ca- 
thedrals, in  any  Town  or  City  bombarded  by  his 
Artillery, 

In  faith  whereof  the  Plenipotentiaries  have 
signed  this  Treaty  and  thereunto  affixed  their 
Seals,    Done  at  Berlin,  the  8th  day  of  May,  1914, 
Signed,     GEN,  VON  MOLTKE, 
Signed,     LIEUTENANT  MEPHISTOPHELES, 
Signed,     MAJOR  GENERAL  MOWER, 
Ratifications  Exchanged  at  the  Third  Station  of 

Hell,  June  5th,  Anno  Diabolo  1, 
Ratified  by  Death  May  25,  1914, 
Ratification  Advised  by  the  Military  Vons,  May 

27th,  1914, 

Ratified  by  Wilhelm  II  May  31st,  1914, 
Ratification   advised   by  the   Devils   May  27th, 

1914, 
Ratified  by  Asmodeus,   Rex  Diaboles  June   1st, 

1914, 
Date  of  writing,  Feb.  20,  1915, 


I 


»f 


PLACE:  Teutoberg  Wald,  near  Detmold,  Ger- 
many, near  a  cave  with  a  large  oaken  door, 
Raining,  thunder  and  lightning, 


WILHELM  II— Emperor  of  Germany, 
von  Falkenstaff — Chief  of  Staff 
von  Cow 


von  Bellows 

von  der  Goat 

von  Hinderbugs 

Three  Messengers 

First  Witch 

Second  Witch 

Recorder  for  the  Witches 

Nymph 


Generals  of  the  Emperor's 


High  Command 


Apparattans 


Hannibal,  Julius  Caesar,  Arminius,  Philip  II  of 
Spain,  Charles  XII  of  Sweden,  Napoleon  Bona- 
parte, George  Washington  and  Pope  Pius  X, 


WILHELM — Go,  von  Bellows,  knock  on  yon 
door  and  demand  admittance,  (The  Emperor 
and  his  staff  dismount  and  tie  their  horses  to  a 
small  tree,) 

VON  BELLOWS  (knocking)— By  command 
of  his  Majesty,  I  demand  admittance, 

1st,  WITCH — We  heed  no  commands  nor 
demands  from  those  who  seek  our  favors  or 
advice, 

WILHELM — I  come  for  neither  but  wish  to 
see  and  hear  the  Spirits  of  the  Dead,  Tis  re- 
ported that  you  have  the  power  to  conjure  them 
so  mortal  eyes  and  ears  can  see  and  hear  them, 

1st,  WITCH— Tis  not  permitted  to  grant 
your  request  before  the  midnight  hour  so  await 
the  time  without, 

WILHELM — Must  we  stand  here  three  long 
hours  in  this  rain? 

1st,  WITCH — Aye,  aye  and  short  the  time, 
Remember  Henry  IV  awaited  the  pleasure  of  a 
Pope  for  three  days  before  the  Gates  of  Canossa 

VON  BELLOWS— Sire,  I  like  not  that 
Witch's  reference  to  your  illustrous  predecessor, 
let  us  away  to  Detmold, 

VON  FALKENSTAFF— Your  Majesty,  allow 
us  to  force  the  door? 

VON  DER  GOAT  (whispering  to  Hinders- 
bugs) — And  teach  that  Hag  some  manners, 

WILHELM— Silence,  heir  steh  Ich;  Ich 
kann  nicht  anders,  for  I  must  see  and  hear  the 
Spirits  from  the  Dead, 


1st,  WITCH— Sire,  whilst  you  await  the 
time  disarm,  take  off  all  insignia  of  militarism  for 
such  will  not  be  permitted  within  the  cave, 

VON  HINDERBUGS-Gott  in  Himmel,  must 
we  go  in  naked? 

VON  COW — I  fear  a  trap,  what  says  your 
Majesty? 

WILHELM — Disarm  and  place  helmets, 
coats,  swords  and  spurs  at  the  foot  of  the  royal 
oak  tree,  (Points  to  a  large  oak  tree  near  the 
door  of  the  cave,  All  now  disarm  and  pile  their 
accoutrements  as  ordered  by  the  Emperor,  The 
storm  seems  to  abate,  The  Emperor  and  his 
attendants  impatiently  wait  for  the  midnight 
hour,  when,  without  warning,  a  thunder  bolt 
strikes  the  royal  oak  accompanied  by  a  terrific 
peel  of  thunder,  which  reverberates  from  hill 
to  hill  then  came  a  deadly  silence,  It-had  ceased 
to  rain  and  through  a  rift  in  the  parting  clouds  a 
moonbeam  shines  directly  upon  the  shattered 

oak,     All  that  is  left  of  their  accoutrements  is 
a     smoldering     heap,    Their    coats,    helmets, 

medals,  swords  and  spurs  have  melted  away,) 

VON  COW— Jesus!  Look  Sire,  an  ill  omen, 
(He  points  to  and  wildly  gazes  upon  the  burning 
coats,) 

VON  BELLOWS— God  has  straffed  our 
swords  and  Iron  Crosses,  Let  us  away  Sire 
and  be  damned  to  the  Witches  of  Bielefeld,  I 
say, 


WILHELM— I  have  a  mind  to— but  wait, 
here  conies  Von  der  Goat,  Let's  hear  what 
he  has  to  say, 

VON  DER  GOAT— Your  Majesty,  I  regret  to 
inform  you  that  our  horses,  frightened  by  the 
terrible  thunderbolt,  have  broken  loose  and  are 
not  to  be  seen, 

WILHELM — Why,  then,  must  we  stay  this 
thing  out,  Von  Cow  go  back  to  Detmold  and 
bring  back  to  us  six  fresh  chargers  or  three 
autos, 

VON  COW  (saluting)— Yes,  sire,  (Exit 
von  Cow,) 

(the  storm  has  passed  away  and  the  full 
moon,  now  near  the  meridian,  informs  the  party 
that  the  midnight  hour  is  near,  The  cave  door 
is  now  opened,) 

1st,  WITCH — I  am  commanded  by  my  mis- 
tress to  bid  you  enter,  Follow  me,  (All  enter 
the  interior  of  the  cave  in  semi-darkness,  The 
Witch  takes  her  visitors  before  five  seats,  hewn 
out  of  stone  and  placed  in  a  half  circle,) 

2nd,  WITCH— (Who  is  unseen)  Welcome 
to  your  Majesty  and  to  your  attendants,  Be  seat- 
ed and  be  silent,  (All  sit  down  in  the  stone  seats, 
the  Emperor  in  the  center), 

1st,  WITCH — Sire,  whom  do  you  wish  to 
see? 

WILHELM — As  many  as  'twill  please  you 
to  call  forth,  Here  is  the  list,  (hands  paper  to 
Witch), 


1st,  WITCH— (Reading  from  list)  "Han- 
nibal, Julius  Caesar,  Arminius,  Philip  II  of  Spain, 
Charles  XII  of  Sweden,  Frederick  the  Great, 
Napoleon  Bonaparte  and  George  Washington," 
Truly,  a  goodly  list  of  Immortals,  Here,  you  in- 
visible Nymph,  take  this  list  to  our  Mistress, 
(The  paper  wafts  away  to  the  astonishment  of 
the  Emperor  and  the  members  of  his  staff), 

2nd,  WITCH— I  have  sent  the  list  to  our 
hoary  ferryman,  Charon,  with  instructions  for 
him  to  ferry  over  the  River  Styx  the  Spirits 
your  Majesty  has  called  for,  While  we  await 
their  coming  our  Recorder  will  take  down  the 
names  of  our  visitors  as  I  call  them  out;  Wil- 
helm  II,  von  Hindenburg,  von  Falkenstaff,  von 
der  Goat  and  von  Bellows,  The  Spirits  that  are 
sent  for  are;  Hannibal,  Julius  Caesar  Arminius, 
Phillip  II  of  Spain,  Charles  XII  of  Sweden,  Fred- 
erick the  Great,  Napoleon  Bonaparte  and  George 
Washington, 

NYMPH— Oh!  Mistress,  the  hoary  Ferry- 
man calls  attention  to  the  payment  of  the  fare, 

2nd,  WITCH— Pardon  me  Sire,  but  I  must 
call  your  attention  to  the  rule  that  Charon  must 
be  paid  for  his  services  for  ferrying  the  Spirits 
of  the  dead, 

WILHELM— What  are  his  charges? 

2nd,  WITCH— Three  Obolus  per  passenger, 
Sire,  forty-eight  pennies,  all  told,  including  re- 
turn trip, 


WILHELM — Here  are  two  marks,  (Hands 
1st,  Witch  coins,) 

1st,  WITCH— Here,  thou  invisible  Nymph, 
take  these  to  your  Mistress, 

VON  BELLOWS— Sire  this  smacks  of  graft- 
ing on  the  dead, 

WILHELM— I  do  not  think  so,  geschaeft 
ist  geschaeft, 

2nd,  WITCH— Sire,  Charon  has  refused  to 
accept  your  coins, 

WILHELM— Why? 

2nd,  WITCH — Because  your  Majesty's 
superscription  is  stamped  thereon,  However, 
he  will  take  them  at  half  their  face  value,  so 
you  will  have  to  pay  double  the  amount,  two 
Marks  more  Sire, 

WILHELM— Here,  (Hands  1st  Witch  two 
Marks  and  whispers  to  Von  Bellows,)  Now  I 
believe  it  is  a  graft, 

VON  BELLOWS— I  sincerely  hope  that  your 
Majesty  will  receive  the  full  value  of  those  four 
Marks,  but  I  doubt  it, 

VON  DER  GOAT— If  I  had  my  way  I'd  buy 
four  sticks  of  dynamite  with  those  four  Marks 
and  use  them  to  blow  up  this  infernal  cave, 
then  we  would  get  value  received, 

VON  HINDERBUGS— I  for  one  don't  be- 
grudge those  four  Marks  that  your  Majesty  gave 
to  Charon, 

WILHELM— Wherefore,  Von  Hinderbugs? 


VON  HINDERBUGS— Because  for  three 
years  past  we  have  succeeded  in  keeping  Charon 
pretty  busy,  and  now  your  Majesty  is  making 
him  work  overtime,  therefore  he  is  entitled  to 
double  pay, 

Nymph — Oh,  Mistress,  the  Spirits  have  ar- 
rived and  are  in  the  waiting  chamber,  at  your 
orders, 

2nd,  WITCH— Tis  well,  Call  each  in  the 
order  as  written  on  our  register,  Proceed, 

1st,  WITCH— Oh,  Spirit  of  the  Immortal 
son  of  Hamilcar,  come  forth!  (Instantly  a 
circular  light  appears  at  the  further  end  of  the 
cave  not  unlike,  in  size  and  brightness,  the 
rising  full  moon,  Then  appears  Hannibal'  hold' 
ing  in  his  outstretched  hands  the  decapitated 
head  of  his  brother  HadrusbaL), 

HANNIBAL— Oh,  Wilhelm,  Emperor  of  the 
Germanic  race  that  thou  hast  betrayed,  beware 
of  Italy,  'gainst  whom  I  strove  for  sixteen  years! 
Behold  the  result  of  the  Metaurus— then  came 
Zama,  This  gastly  trophy  my  just  reward  for 
my  invasion,  Profit  by  my  example  and  Jbova 
all  beware  Democracy,  (Spirit  of  Hannibal  de- 
parts, the  Emperor  is  deeply  agitated), 

VON  HINDERBUGS— I  pray  your  Majesty 
will  pay  no  heed  to  the  vaporings  of  that  African, 

WILHELM— I  like  not  his  allusions  to  the 
battles  of  the  Metaurus  and  Zama, 

VON  HINDERBUGS— Why,  Sire? 


WILHELM — Because  the  Metaurus  was 
decisive  'gainst  that  African  and  so  the  Marne 
has  proven  so  to  me,  Now  as  Zama  proved  the 
end  of  Hannibal's  career  so  Zeebruge  may  be 
the  end  of  all  my  dreams  to  rule  the  world,  I 
fear  the  letters  (M'  and  'Z'  for,  as  you  know, 
Zeebruge  is  our  last  stand, 

1st,  WITCH — I  will  now,  by  his  deserved 
name,  call  for  Arminius,  "Liberator  haud  dubie 
Germanic,"  come  unto  our  presence,  (the  spirit 
of  Arminius  walks  into  the  center  of  the  circle, 
bow  and  arrow  in  his  hands  fixed  for  flight, 
which  he  threateningly  aims  at  the  Emperor,) 

ARMINIUS— With  such  weapons  I  van- 
quished the  Roman  Legions  under  Varus  and 
made  the  Great  Augustus  cry  out  in  dispair; 
"Oh,  Varus,  give  me  back  my  Legions!"  But 
you  have  caused  the  German  people  to  cry 
out  in  anguish;  "Oh,  Wilhelm,  give  us  back  our 
slaughtered  Sons,"  Resign,  let  others  save  the 
Fatherland  that  I  have  freed,  Adieu,  (Arminius 
retires), 

WILHELM— Oh,  Spirit  of  the  Great  Her- 
man— 

1st,  WITCH— Sire,  the  Spirits  of  the  Dead 
brook  no  questioning,  I  will  now  conjure  Philip 
II  of  Spain;  Thou  son  and  successor  of  the 
great  Emperor  Charles  V  please  appear,  (Philip 
comes  holding  a  Crucifix  in  his  right  hand  aid 
a  broken  anchor  in  his  left  hand,) 


Hannibal 


PHILIP  II — Guillermo,  beware  of  England, 
the  defender  of  Belgium,  whose  spirit  of  Democ- 
racy I  sought  to  crush,  through  and  by  the  ruth- 
less and  bloody  brutality  of  Alva,  and  thereby- 
disgraced  my  glorious  reign,  Then  I  attempted 
to  wrest  from  Albion  the  supremacy  of  the  sea 
and  this  (holds  up  the  anchor)  was  my  reward 
for  my  contemplated  invasion,  Beware  'bove  all 
of  my  illustrious  S;re's  Native  Land,  Follow  his 
example;  bastante,  (Philip  walks  away  holding 
the  Crucifix  before  his  face), 

WILHELM — That  anchor  is  surely  a  relic  of 
the  Invincible  Armada, 

VON  BELLOWS— Ture,  Sire,  but  what  sig- 
nificance is  there  to  his  saying,  "Beware  the 
native  land  of  my  (llustrous  Sire"?  Spain  is 
not  ?t  war  'gainst  us,  or,  is  she,  Sire? 

WILHELM— No,  He  refers  to  Belgium,  for 
at  Ghent  did  Emperor  Charles  V  first  see  the 
light  of  day, 

VON  FALKENSTAFF— Then,  Sire,  if  you 
should  follow  his  example  that  would  mean 
for  you  to— 

VON  DER  GOAT— We'll  say  it,  'Abdicate,' 

VON  HINDERBUGS— We  cannot  stand  for 
that,  for  then  what  would  become  of  us,  To  hel! 
with  that  Spaniard's  advice,  I  say! 

1st,  WITCH— We  will  now  call  upon  Julius 
Caesar,  Oh,  he  whom  the  Immortal  Bard  well 
named  "The  foremost  man  of  all  the  world," 
please  us  with  thy  presence,  (The  clatter  of 


horses'  hoofs  and  the  rumbling  noise  of  Chariot 
wheels  is  heard,  Two  horses'  heads  appear  in- 
side the  circle  and  stop,  Caesar  is  now  seen  to 
come  in  front  in  the  center  of  the  circle,  holding 
a  scroll  in  his  right  hand  and  a  cloak  on  his  left 
arm,  on  the  scroll  are  seen  these  words;  "To 
the  Roman  Senate,  Veni,  Vidi,  Vici,  Caius 
Julius  Caesar") 

JULIUS  CAESAR— I  warn  you,  Wilhelm  II, 
you  who  now  misrule  the  Germanic  race, 
to  beware  of  the  Belgians,  the  bravest  of  the 
brave  of  all  the  Gauls,  Cast  off  your  crown; 
a  bauble  which  I  thrice  refused  upon  the  Luper- 
cal,  Invaders  receive  their  just  reward,  This  I 
received  as  mine  upon  the  Ides  of  March, 
(Caesar  puts  on  the  cloak  which  is  pierced  by 
dagger  holes,  with  as  many  bloody  spots,  The 
horses  advance  and  as  the  Chariot  passes 
Caesar  jumps  in  and  drives  away,) 

VON  DER  GOATV-That's  poor  consolation 
the  Dago  gave  you  Sire, 

WILHELM — Truly,  I  expected  he  would 
say  more  than  he  did, 

VON  BELLOWS— They  say  he  dared  to 
cross  the  Rubicon,  I  believe  now  that  he  is  a 
datedevil,  the  way  he  rubbed  it  in  on  your  Maj- 
esty,  and  I  do  not  see,  Sire,  how  you  expected 
him  to  say  more, 

WILHELM— Well,  he  in  life  admitted  that 
he  could  not  subdue  our  enemy,  England,  so  ! 
did  expect  him  to  refer  to  it, 


1st,  WITCH — We  will  now  call  upon  Charles 
XII,  Oh,  you  mad-cap  King  of  Sweden,  let  us 
see  and  hear  thee,  (Immediately  Charles  ap- 
pears brandishing  a  sword,  with  which  he  parries 
at  the  Emperor  as  he  speaks,) 

CHARLES  XII— Wilhelm,  'tis  not  long  since 
you  boasted  that  once  more  Russia  is  trembling 
under  the  blows  of  your  army,  I  also  made  her 
tremble  for  three  years,  but  came  Pultowa, 
Then  for  three  years,  I  trembled  for  my  life 
amongst  the  treacherous  Turks,  Now,  Wilhelm, 
in  truth,  I'm  sick  and  tired  to  hear  you  say 
"Gott  strafe  England",  do  a  little  strafing  your- 
self, and  do  it  NOW,  or  you  will  lose  your  crown, 
Look  a  little  out  for  that  Uncle  Sam,  for  sure 
he'll  get  your  Goat,  (Charles  XII  abruptly  leaves 
the  circle,) 

VON  DER  GOAT— I  wonder  if  that  square 
head  refers  to  me? 

WILHELM — I  believe  so,  and  hope  so,  for  I 
can  well  spare  you, 

VON  HINDERBUGS— Pay  no  attention  to 
the  souwegian,  Sire,  for  the  Turks  are  still 
with  us, 

VON  BELLOWS— What  I  would  like  to 
know,  Sire,  is  the  United  States  at  war  against 
us? 

WILHELM— I  don't  believe  so,  We  will 
ask  Micheales  when  we  get  back  to  Berlin,  but 
even  if- 

1st,  WITCH— Your  Majesty,  time  is  short 
and  we  will  now  call  upon  Frederick  the  Great, 


so  come  forward,  you  who  withstood  the  on- 
slaught of  Russia,  France  and  Austria  and  by 
your  victories  laid  the  foundation  for  a  Ger- 
man Empire,  (A  few  minutes  pass  in  silence), 
2nd,  WITCH— Frederick  the  Great  ab- 
solutely refuses  to  see  or  speak  to  the  present 
Emperor,  whose  ruthless  and  brutal  acts  have 
stained  and  defamed  the  once  fair  name  of 
Germany, 

WILHELM — Entreat  him,  I  beseech  you, 

1st,  WITCH — No,  Sire,  it  would  be  useless, 
so  we  will  pass  on  and  call  for  Napoleon  Bon- 
aparte, So,  come  you,  spirit  of  the  bold  Corsi- 
can,  (Bonaparte  comes  into  the  circle  dressed 
as  a  Field  Marshall  of  France,  He  holds  a  book 
in  his  hand  On  the  cover  is  the  title;  "Code 
Napoleon/' 

NAPOLEON  BONAPARTE— I  salute  you  as 
Wilhelm,  the  Hun — the  title  posterity  will  be- 
stow upon  you,  Your  abdication  is  now  devoutly 
wished  for  by  the  whole  world,  Beware  of  Eng- 
land, She  is  the  Nemesis  of  all  or  any  who 
trample  upon  Belgium,  'Gainst  Albion  I  fought 
for  sixteen  years  and  when  I  crossed  the  Bel- 
gian line  I  met  my  Waterloo,  my  second  abdica- 
tion and  St,  Helena,  Above  all,  beware  of  the 
U,  S,,  Fare  well,  Oh  Hun!  (He  bows  and  leaves), 

VON  BELLOWS— Your  Majesty,  that  is  the 
second  time  the  Spirits  mention  the  Americans, 
Now,  tell  me,  Sire,  are  they  at  war  'gainst  us? 


WILHELM — My  dear  bellowing  Bellows, 
pay  no  attention  to  that  Corsican  upstart  and 
self  crowned  emperor  of  the  French, 

Falkenstaff    Napoleon — Belgium    N,    B,    Nota 
Bene,  Sire, 

1st,  WITCH — We  will  now  invite  into  our 
presence  he  who  was  "First  in  Peace,  First  in 
War  and  First  in  the  hearts  of  his  country  men!" 
Oh,  thou  illustrious  and  immortal  defender  of 
Democracy  we  beg  the  honor  of  your  presence, 
(Instantly  seven  bright  red  bands  seem  to  un- 
roll from  the  upper  edge  of  the  circle  and  the 
five  spaces  between  the  bands  of  red  become 
white  with  stars  of  golden  hue,  Washington  ap- 
pears in  plain  civilian  dress  holding  a  parchment 
in  his  hands  which  he  partly  unrolls  and  holds 
to  the  view  of  the  Emperor,  who  sees  the  follow- 
ing words  "Declaration  of  Independence— Unit- 
ed States  of  America — We  hold  these  truths  to 
be  self  evident,  that  all  men  are  created  equal- 
Life,  Liberty  and  pursuit  of  Happiness — ," 

GEORGE  WASHINGTON— From  time  im- 
memorial ambitious  men  acquired  the  power 
to  rule  by  the  sword  or  by  the  mitre,  Like  a 
pendulum  that  power  swung  from  Emperors  or 
Kings  to  Popes  or  Bishops,  then  back  from  the 
mitre  to  the  sword,  The  pendulum  still  swings, 
but  its  oscillations  now,  happily  for  mankind, 
are  controled  by  democracy,  You,  Wilhelm, 
seek  to  rule  by  the  sword  and  cannon,  and  sac- 
religiously  proclaim  that  you  are  God's  vice 


gerent  on  the  earth,  that  you  seek  to  conquer, 
My  beloved  country,  being,  as  of  right  it  should 
be,  the  invincible  defender  of  Democracy,  has 
declared  your  brutal  and  rutheless  acts  against 
her  commerce  and  against  the  lives  of  her 
citizens  as  acts  of  war,  You  willed  it  and 
you  shall  rue  it,  Farewell,  (As  Washington 
slowly  walks  away  a  white  dove  with  an  olive 
branch  in  its  beak  follows  him,  flying  in  a  circle, 
The  stars  go  out  one  by  one  and  the  red  bands 
roll  up,  The  white  light  grows  dimmer  and 
darkness  again  replaces  the  outer  space  of  the 
circle,) 

VON  DER  GOAT— Now,  Your  Majesty  must 
admit  that  the  Americans  are  at  war  against 
us! 

WILHELM— Yes,  but  I  do  not  fear  that 
rebel's  country,  Our  submarines  will  attend  to 
those  that  dare  to  cross  the  Atlantic,  What 
say  you,  Hinderbugs? 

VON  HINDERBUGS— I  am  of  the  same 
opinion,  Sire,  moreover,  I  can  give  you  my  as- 
surance that  I  will  hold  on  to  the  Western  line, 
even  if  I  do  have  to  take  it  back  with  me  to 
the  Rhine, 

VON  DER  GOAT— I'm  not  afraid  'bout  our 
Western  line  but  I  don't  like  the  letter  G, 

VON  FALKENSTAFF— Why,  are  you  super- 
stitious? 

VON  DER  GOAT— No,  not  so  foolish  as  to 
be  superstitious,  Falkenstaff,  but  I  figured  it 


Invincible  and  Unafraid 


out  so:  We  cannot  defeat  that  G,  of  England, 
and  yet  that  rebel  G,,  he  to  a  finish  strafed  a 
G,  of  this  same  England,  Ergo!  How  can  we 
beat  the  G,  that  easily  whipped  a  G,  we  can't 
defeat? 

WILHELM— Silence,  you  fool,  or  there  will 
be  a  G,  in  G,  who'll  face  a  Firing  Squad, 

VON  DER  GOAT— Whom  mean  you  Sire? 

WILHELM— Der  Goat  of  Germany,  dunce 
head, 

1st,  WITCH — Your  Majesty,  our  conjuga- 
tions are  over  and- 

2nd,  WITCH — One  moment,  and  listen, 
Sire,  when  Charon  had  crossed  the  Styx  he 
found  upon  his  arrival  here  one  spirit  more  than 
your  Majesty  had  sent  for,  We  still  have  time, 
Will  you  see  and  hear  this  spirit  whom  Charon 
in  his  message  to  me  calls  a  stowaway? 

WILHELM — Who  is  he,  and  what  was  his 
name  and  rank? 

2nd,  WITCH — His  name,  Guiseppe  Sarto, 
his  rank  a  Pope,  lately  deceased,  Pius  X, 

WILHELM— May  I  consult  with  my  Staff 
upon  the  matter? 

1st,  WITCH— You  may,  Sire,  but  be  brief, 

WILHELM— What  say  you,  Von  Dsr  Goat: 
shall  we  see  this  Pius  X? 

VON  DER  GOAT— Your  Majesty,  off  hand, 
I  say  No!  For  his  successor,  Benedict,  is  at  pres- 
ent trying  out  for  a  peace  conference  and  our 
enemies  say  that  by  subterfuge  we  decieved 


Benedict  and  prevailed  upon  him  to  make  this 
attempt  for  the  sole  interest  of  Germany  and 
Austria,  Moreover,  they  go  so  far  as  to  say 
that  he  butts  in,  as  Pius  X  now  does,  to  come 
here,  which  I  firmly  believe, 

VON  BELLOWS— Remember  Sire,  that  this 
same  Pope  at  the  very  begining  of  this,  our 
glorious  and  victorious  war,  and  just  before  his 
demise  addressed  our  arch  enemy,  England  as 
the  "Master  of  Justice  and  Guardian  of  the 
Peace,"  therefore  I  am  of  the  same  opinion  as 
Von  Der  Goat, 

VON  HINDERBUGS— I  trust  your  Majesty 
will  not  be  offended,  for  I  will  speak  plainly,  We 
are  at  present  in  the  position  of  a  drowning 
man  and  we  must  grasp  even  at  a  straw  for 
aid,  so  I  favor  seeing  and  above  all  to  hear 
Pius,  for  if  in  life  he  favored  our  enemies  in 
his  talk  to  us  he  may  inadvertently  give  us  some 
information  of  military  value, 

VON  FALKENSTAFF— Sire  I  fully  and  un- 
reservedly coincide  with  Von  Hinderbugs, 

WILHELM— Well  said,  We  will  hear  this 
Pope  and  we  will  pay  particular  attention  to 
all  that  he  will  say,  Now  you- 

1st,  WITCH— Pardon,  Sire,  but  time  is 
pressing  and  Charon  is  becoming  impatient, 
What  is  your  pleasure? 

WILHELM— We  have  decided  to  hear  Pope 
Pius  X, 


-Dayton  News. 


1st,  WITCH— Tis  well,  for  we  must  not 
tarry,  You  who  in  life  was  Patriarch  of  Venice, 
by  name,  Guiseppe  Sarto,  bless  us  with  thy 
presence,  (A  halo  of  light  appears  above  the 
circle  and  within  the  halo  is  a  large  cross, 
Pius  comes  into  the  center  of  the  circle  and 
stops  immediately  under  the  halo  and  cross,) 

PIUS — My  successor,  Benedict  XV  is  at 
present  attempting  to  have  the  warring  nations 
agree  to  a  peace  conference,  but  it  is  premature, 
because  it  is  the  rule  of  our  Holy  Catholic  Church 
that  no  absolution  shall  be  granted  to  an  un- 
repenting  sinner,  nor  until  he  has  made  full  re- 
stitution to  those  he  has  wronged  or  defrauded, 
Wilhelm,  you  boast  that  you  are  victorious;  you 
are  still  defying  and  outraging  all  laws  of  God 
and  man,  all  of  which  proves  your  unrepenting 
mind,  Repentance  and  restitution  go  hand  in 
hand,  as  does  absolution  and  peace,  Proclaim 
the  former  and  Peace  will  follow  as  day  the 
night,  and  "Dominus  Vobiscum,"  (Pius  leaves 
followed  by  a  lamb  carrying  a  cross), 

VON  DER  GOAT— I  heard  nothing  said 
that  was  of  military  value  Sire,  All  Popes  are 
the  same  to  me  even  after  they  are  dead  they 
will  butt  in, 

VON  HINDERBUGS— With  your  permission, 
Sire,  I  shall  order  the  destruction  of  all  Catholic 
churches  while  retiring  from  Belgium  and  north- 
ern France, 


WILHELM — Do  as  you  wish,  my  dear 
Hinderbugs,  but  do  not  let  that  appear  in  any 
of  your  official  orders  of  the  day, 

VON  BELLOWS— Sire,  do  you  contemplate 
the  evacuation  of  Belgium  and  thus  follow  the 
advice  of  Pope  Pius  X  ? 

WILHELM— I  tell  thee,  Von  Bellows,  no 
Pope,  be  he  dead  or  alive,  will  ever  make  me 
go  to  Canossa,  but  we  must  be  prepared  for 
any  eventualities;  our  army  on  the  western 
front  cannot  retreat  nor  can  we  retire,  for  we 
lack  reserves  to  protect  and  cover  a  rearward 
movement,  so  the  enemy  compels  me  to  fight 
to  the  last  ditch,  (Loud  knocking  is  heard), 

1st,  WITCH— Who  is  it  that  dares  disturb 
this  meeting? 

VON  COW— I,  General  Von  Cow,  just  re- 
turned from  Detmold  with  conveyance  for  his 
Majesty  and  the  members  of  his  staff,  so  please 
inform  His  Majesty  of  my  arrival, 

1st,  WITCH— I  will,  (Shuts  door),  Your 
Majesty,  General  Von  Cow  has  arrived  with 
conveyances  for  your  departure,  As  our  con- 
jurations are  ended  you  and  your  staff  will 
please  leave  the  cave,  as  it  is  not  permitted  for 
any  one  to  remain  till  break  of  day, 

WILHELM— Tis  well,  we  will  depart,  but 
first  and  last  I  thank  you  for  bringing  up  the 
Spirits  of  the  dead  to  my  view  and  hearing, 
but  deeply  regret  that  one  refused  to  appear, 


for  which  I  will  not  blame  any  of  the  Witches  of 
Bielefield, 

1st,  WITCH— But  your  Majesty  did  see  the 
full  number  of  the  Spirits,  as  was  inscribed  upon 
your  list,  for  Frederick  the  Great  was  replaced 
by  Pope  Pius  X, 

WILHELM — True,  but  Popes  have  no  lik- 
ing for  such  as  I  or  you, 

1st,  WITCH— We're  well  aware  of  that, 
Your  Majesty,  but  we  fear  them  not, 
(1st,  Witch  hobbles  toward  the  door,  leaning 
on  her  staff), 

2nd,  WITCH— Sire,  Charon  has  ferried 
over  the  Styx  all  those  whom  you  had  called, 
but  has  refused  to  take  Pius  X  because  he  did 
not  pay  his  fare,  so  if  your  Majesty  will  pay  the 
two  fares  Charon  will  preform  his  duty, 

WILHELM— How   much   are  the  fares? 

2nd,  WITCH — Two  Obolus,  six  pennies, 
U,  S,  coin,  or"12  coins  of  your  Empire,  Sire, 

WILHELM— And  if  I  refuse  what  will  be 
the  consequences? 

2nd,  WITCH — Charon  will  refuse  to  con- 
vey the  unhappy  shade  of  Pius  X  across  and  it 
will  be  doomed  to  wander  restlessly  along  the 
shores  of  Acheron, 

WILHELM — I  then  refuse  to  contribute  one 
cent,  Let  his  shade  be  doomed,  it  is  God's 
strafing  for  butting  in  where  he  was  not  called, 
Now,  you  who  can  bring  back  the  Spirits  of  the 


dead,  you  can  no  doubt  foretell  my  future,  I  pray 
you  to  do  so, 

2nd,  WITCH — Sire,  I  can  only  warn  you 
to  beware  of  the  number  Thirteen, 

WILHELM— Why  Thirteen? 

2nd,  WITCH — Because  your  Majesty  is 
commonly  called  'Kaiser  William,1  so  beginning 
with  your  name  of  thirteen  letters  I  will  name 
others,  When  you  were  crowned  the  Pope, 
who  then  presided  at  the  Vatican,  was  "Cardinal 
Pecci"  Leo  XIII,,  and  he  it  was  who  decided 
against  Germany,  and  awarded  the  "Caroline 
Isles"  to  Spain,  Again,  when  your  Majesty 
dropt  your  faithful  Pilot  Bismark,  you  replaced 
him  with  a  losing  thirteen  "Prince  Caprivi", 
And,  most  disastrous  to  your  ambition  to  rule 
the  world,  Sire,  was  that  thirteen  of  England, 
"Sir  Edward  Grey,"  who  threw  Great  Britian 
into  the  scales  'gainst  you,  Now  comes  the 
most  powerful  thirteen,  and  one  who  over- 
shadows them  all,  "Woodrow  Wilson,"  backed 
by  that  Invincible  Flag  of  Thirteen  Stripes, 
and  most  ably  aided  by  his  chief  advisor,  "Rob- 
ert Lansing,"  They  have  sent  the  Stars 
and  Stripes  to  be  unfurled  on  French  soil,  there 
to  remain  in  charge  of  a  fighting  13,  John  J, 
Pershing,  until  your  armies  are  defeated — until 
the  World  is  assured  that  no  more  cannons  are 
"Made  in  Germany",  That  is  all  I  will  say, 


Beware  of  No.  13 


and  will  ask  you,  Sire,  to  leave,  as  day  is  fast 
approaching, 

WILHELM — I  thank  you  for  calling  my 
attention  to  that,  to  me,  fatal  Thirteen,  I  will 
add  that  my  greatest  obstacle  for  a  peace  is 
that  same  Thirteen  "Strasburg-Metz,"  Good 
Bye,  (All  leave  the  Cave), 

VON  COW — Sire,  below  are  three  auios, 
it  was  impossible  to  get  horses  in  Detmold,  I, 
however,  succeded  in  getting  new  accoutre- 
ments, I  await  your  pleasure,  Sire, 

WILHELM— Well  done,  Von  Cow,  Vor- 
waerts,  take  the  lead  and  we  will  leave  this 
accursed  place,  (All  march  down  the  steep 
and  rocky  defile,) 

VON  BELLOWS— When  I  was  a  small  boy 
I  often  was  sent  to  the  bakery  for  a  dozen  pre- 
tzels, The  baker  always  gave  me  an  extra 
one,  which  I  ate,  therefore  I  never  could  see 
any  bad  luck  in  number  thirteen, 

VON  DER  GOAT— If  your  Majssty  will  note, 
you  have  succeeded  in  getting  rid  of  a  thirteen, 

WILHELM— How  and  when,  Von  Cer  GOCL? 

VON  DER  GOAT— Why,  when  your  Majesty 
refused  to  pay  six  pennies  to  have  Charon 
ferry  over  Pius  X, 

WILHELM — How  do  you  make  out  Pius 
X  a  Thirteen? 

VON  DER  GOAT— Well  his  name  was  "Giu- 
seppe Sarto,"  thirteen  letters,  Sire, 


WILHELM— Good,  I  shall  not  forget  that 
on  my  next  decoration  day,  Von  Der  Goat, 

VON  COW — I,  for  one,  am  not  supersti- 
tious, but  explain  to  me,  Von  Der  Goat,  how  is 
it  that  a  thirteen  made  a  promise  to  our  Emper- 
or, but  did  not  come  through  with  the  goods? 

WILHELM— Who  was  that,  and  what  did 
he  promise  me,  Von  Cow? 

VON  COW— "Von  Falkenhayn,"  He  pro- 
mised you  Verdun,  Sire, 

WILHELM — Enough,  the  first  one  who 
mentions  that  number  to  me  hereafter,  shall 
be  shot,  (The  party  have  arrived  at  the  bottom 
of  the  hill,) 

VON  COW— Here  are  the  three  autos, 
Sire,  and  the  three  messengers  who  have 
come  from  the  battle  fronts,  and  I  trust  that 
they  bring  your  Majesty  .good  news,  (The 
three  messengers  approach  the  Emperor,  salute 
and  each  one  gives  him  a  large  official  en- 
velope,) 

WILHELM— Turn  on  the  light  here  so  I 
can  read  these  messages,  (The  search  light 
of  the  first  auto  is  turned  on  and  the  Emperor 
reads  in  an  audible  voice)  "If  your  Majesty 
cannot  send  me  reinforcement,  then  by  all  means 
come  to  the  eastern  front,  I  fear  that  all  our 
plans  must  be  changed,  for  I  fear  the  inaction 
of  the  Russian's  more  than  any  of  their  bayonet 
charges,  Assuring  your  Majessty  of  ultimate 
victory,  I  remain,  etc,  General  Von  Mutt," 


(Takes  second  letter  and  continues), 
"As  a  supplement  to  my  last  advice  to 
your  Majesty,  I  beg  to  report  that  the  enemy 
under  General  Cardorna,  had  crossed  the  Isonzo, 
Emperor  Charles  will  be  here  to-morrow  to 
enthuse  his  army  to  make  a  stand  to  save  the 
Peak  of  San  Gabriele,  but  I  fear  it  is  too  late, 
unless  your  Majesty  sends  reinforcement  at  the 
earliest  possible  moment,  With  deep  apprecia- 
tions for  your  Majesty's  favors,  I  remain  at 
Your  Command, 

General  Von  Eiselkopf," 
(Takes  last  letter  and  reads  on), 
"Sire,  General  Haig  has  attacked  the 
Green  Grassier,  and  I  fear  that  Lens  will  have 
to  be  evacuated,  I  could  not  communicate  with 
Hinderbugs,  as  we  cannot  locate  him,  He  left 
yesterday  on  an  important  mission — I  under- 
stood it  was  to  confer  with  your  Majesty,  The 
attack  upon  our  trenches  was  led  by  the  Mani- 
tobans,  and  believe  me,  Sire,  there  were  many, 
If  Hinderbugs  does  not  return  soon,  and  with 
reinforcement  sufficient  to  be  able  to  make  a 
successful  counter  attack,  we  will  have  to  order 
a  retirement, 

I  Sincerely  pray  for  your  Majesty's  success, 

General  Von  Boob," 
(The  Emperor  now  gets  busy,) 
WILHELM— Here,    Von    Hinderbugs,    take 
this  message,   it  pertains  to  you,     Take  first 
auto  with  messenger  from  your  front  and  go 


immediately  to  Lens  by  way  of  Warburg;  read 
the  message  at  your  leisure  on  your  way, 
You,  Von  Bellows,  with  Von  Der  Goat  and  Austri- 
an messenger,  take  second  auto  and  speed  away 
to  Vienna  as  soon  as  possible,  Here,  Falken- 
staff,  get  ready,  we  go  to  Berlin,  passing  through 
Detmold,  and  Magdeberg,  (For  a  few  minutes 
all  are  busily  engaged  putting  on  their  accoutre- 
ments, Enter  their  respective  autos  and  speed 
away  and  exit  all,) 

August    30th,    1917. 


ACROBATIC  POEM—  J,  B,  German's  Fright  is 
the  title,  In  J,  B,  German's  Fright  is  contained 
the  initial  of  the  nations  at  war;  also  J,  B, 
means  John  Bull,  German's  Fright, 

ALVA — Fernando  Alvarez  Da  Toledo  Duke  of- 
Born  1508,  was  sent  into  the  Netherlands  at 
the  head  of  10,000  men  with  unlimited  powers 
for  the  extirpation  of  heretics,  Alva  boasted 
that  in  six  years  he  executed  18,000  men 
and  women  through  and  by  his  "Bloody  Tri- 
bunal," He  was  recalled  by  his  bigoted 
master  Philip  II,  in  1573, 

APRIL— Month  of  War  Declaration  for  the  U,  S, 
War  of  the  Revolution,  April  19,  1775 
Black  Hawk  Indian  War,  April  21    1831 
War  with  Mexico,  April   24th,  1846 
Civil  War,  April    12th,  1861, 
Spanish-American  War,  April  21st,  1893, 

ARMADA— "The  Invincible"— Sailed  from  Lis- 
bon May  29,  1583,  Fleet  consisted  of  129 
large  vessels  and  carried  19,295  soldiers  and 
8,460  sailors,  besides  slaves  and  rowers,  and 
2,431  cannons,  Defeated  and  destroyed  on 
July  19,  1583,  by  the  English  Navy  under 
Admiral  Lord  Howard,  of  Effingham, 

ARMINIUS— Born    18,    B,    C,     Annihilated    the 


whole  Roman  army,  under  Varus,  in  9  A,  D, 
This  sanguinary  battle,  which  lasted  three 
days,  freed  the  German  race  from  the  op- 
pressive Roman  yoke,  Arminius  was  assass- 
inated by  his  own  people  while  trying  to  quell 
an  internecine  strife  among  the  German  tribes, 
in  the  year  20  A,  D, 

AUGUSTUS— Roman  Emperor,  born  63,  B,  C, 
In  29,  B,  C,,  he  closed  the  Temple  of  Janus 
with  most  pompus  ceremony  and  proclaimed 
universal  peace,  In  the  year  9,  A,  D,,  Aug- 
ustus suffered  the  one  crushing  defeat  of  his 
reign  at  the  hand  of  the  Germans,  led  by  Ar- 
minus,  The  loss  so  afflicted  the  Emperor 
that  he  cried  in  anguish  "Oh!  Varus  give 
me  back  my  Legions,"  and  allowed  his  beard 
and  hair  to  grow  as  a  sign  of  deep  mourning, 
Died  14,  A,  D, 

BENEDICT— Cardinal  Delia  Chiesa,  formerly 
Archbishop  of  Bologna,  Was  elected  Pope 
September,  3,  1914, 

BIELEFELD — Town  in  the  Prussian  province  of 
West  Phalia,  First  mentioned  in  the  9th, 
century  as  Belanvelde;  situate  near  the  west- 
ern side  of  the  Teutoberger-Walde, 

BONAPARTE — Napoleon,  Born  at  Ajaccio, 
August,  15,  1769,  Crowned  Emperor  of  the 
French  at  Notre  Dame,  Paris,  Pope  Pius  VII 
officiating,  Napoleon  however,  took  the 
crown  from  the  Pope's  hand  and  placed  it 
on  his  own  head,  Abdicated  April  11,  1814, 


Battle  of  Waterloo  June  18,  1815,  Second 
abdication  June  22,  1815,  and  was  banished 
to  the  Island  of  St,  Helena,  where  he  died 
May,  5,  1821, 

BRYAN — William  Jennings,  Appointed  Secre- 
tary of  State  by  President  Woodrow  Wilson 
March  4,  1913,  Resigned  June  8,  1915, 

CAESAR— Caius  Julius,  Born  100  B,  C,  First 
invasion  of  England,  55  B,  C,,  whither  Caesar 
was  led  partly  by  curiosity  and  partly  by  a 
desire  to  detach  the  Celtic  Confederacy  from 
Britian,  which  was  the  sure  asylum  of  political 
refugees,  In  44  B,  C,,  he  refused  the  crown 
offered  to  him  by  Mark  Anthony,  and  a  month 
later,  being  the  Ides  of  March  was  assassi- 
nated, 

CANOSSA— A  ruined  castle  of  north  Italy,  12 
miles  S,  W,  of  Reggio,  In  its  courtyard  the 
Emperor  Henry  IV  stood  in  penitential  garb 
for  three  days  (Jan,  25-27,  1070)  before  Rope 
Gregory  VII  admitted  him  to  his  presence  and 
removed  the  ban  of  excommunication,  To 
"Go  to  Canossa"  is  the  modern  phase  for 
preforming  an  act  of  humiliation  at  the  com- 
pulsion of  another, 

CHAPULTEPEC— A  castle  two  miles  S,  W,  of 
Mexico  City,  taken  by  the  U,  S,  troops  under 
Gen,  Scott,  September,  13  1847, 

CHARLES  V— Emperor  of  Germany,  King  of 
Spain  and  the  Netherlands,  Born  at  Ghent, 
Belgium,  February  24,  1500,  Presided  at 


the  Diet  of  Worms,  1521,  to  try  Martin  Luther 
for  heresy,  Abdicated,  October,  1555, 

CHARLES  XII— King  of  Sweden,  Born  June, 
27,  1682,  Crowned  in  1692,  Invaded 
Russia  and  Poland,  For  three  years  he  forced 
the  Russian  army  to  a  continual  retreat,  At 
last  Peter  the  Great  made  a  stand  at  Pultowa, 
July,  9,  1709,  and  most  decisively  defeated 
and  destroyed  the  Swedish  army  and  Charles 
XII  was  compelled  to  escape  to  Turkey,,  where 
he  remained  for  three  years,  Meanwhile 
Sweden  was  completely  crushed  by  her  ene- 
mies, Charles  returned  to  Sweden  in  1712 
and  was  killed  at  the  siege  of  Frederickshall 
December  11,  1718, 

DECLARATION  OF  INDEPENDENCE— July,  4 
1776, 

DETMOLD — Chief  town  in  the  principality  of 
Lippe,  Germany,  situated  east  side  of  the 
Teutoberger-Walde,  Three  miles  S,  W,  of 
Detmold  stands  the  colossal  statue  of  Ar- 

minius, 
EMANCIPATION  PROCLAMATION— By  Abraham 

Lincoln,  August  22,  1862, 
ETZEL— Chief  of  the  Huns,  defeated  at  the 
battle  of  Chalons,  A,  D,,  451,  Called  Attila 
a  ruthless  barbarian,  He  assumed  the  title 
of  "The  Scourge  of  God,"  The  following  will 
explain  why  the  civilized  people  call  the  Ger- 
man soldiers  "Huns":  When  the  present 
Emperor  of  Germany  sent  out  his  puntitive 


expedition  to  China  he  addressed  his  soldiers 
as  follows!  "When  you  encounter  the  enemy 
you  will  defeat  him,  No  quarters  shall  be 
given;  no  prisoners  shall  be  taken,  Let  all 
who  fall  into  your  hands  be  at  your  mercy, 
Just  as  the  Huns,  a  thousand  years  ago,  under 
the  leadership  of  Etzel,  gained  a  reputation 
by  virtue  of  which  they  live  in  historical 
tradition,  so  may  the  name  of  Germany  be- 
come known  in  such  manner  in  China  that 
no  Chinaman  will  ever  again  even  dare  to 
look  askance  at  a  German," 

FREDERICK  THE  GREAT— Born  January  24, 
1712,  Crowned  King  of  Prussia,  Conduct- 
ed the  "Seven  Years  War"  and  at  the  peace 
conference  at  Hubertsburg,  February  15, 
1763,  he  not  only  maintained  his  territory 
undiminished,  but  he  had  also  added  a  ten- 
fold prestige  to  Prussia  and  to  Prussian 
arms,  He  d'ed  August  17,  1786, 

HAMI'LCAR— Barca,  The  most  illustrious  of 
the  Carthaginian  Generals,  Born  270  B,  C, 
He  was  the  father  of  the  "Lion's  Brood"- 
Hannibal,  Hadrusbal  and  Mago,  He  made 
his  eldest  son  Hannibal,  at  the  age  of  nine, 
swear  on  the  alter  of  supreme  Carthaginian 
deity  eternal  hatred  and  enmity  of  Rome, 

HANNIBAL— Born  247,  B,  C,  Invaded  Italy, 
218,  and  his  second  army  of  invasion  arrived 
in  Italy,  led  by  his  brother  Hadrusbal,  in  207 
B,  C,  Tried  to  form  junction  with  Hannibal, 


but  was  defeated  and  slain  by  the  Romans 
under  Claudius  Nero,  who  ordered  the  head 
of  Hadrusbal  thrown  into  the  tent  of  Han- 
nibal, When  Hannibal  saw  his  brother's 
head  he  exclaimed  "Rome  will  be  the  mistress 
of  the  world,"  Hannibal  died  by  his  own 
hand  by  poison  in  188,  B,  C,  See  Zama. 

HENRY  IV— Holy  Roman  Emperor,  Born  1050, 
crowned  King  of  Germany  at  the  age  of  four, 
during  his  father's  lifetime,  Henry's  reign 
was  one  of  the  most  troubled  in  German  his- 
tory, Died  1106, 

HERMAN — The  German   name  for  Arminius, 

HOLLWEG — Von  Bethmann,  German  Chancellor, 
appointed  July  14,  1909,  Resigned,  July, 
14,  1917, 

JANUS — Temple  of,  A  Roman  god,  after  whom 
the  month  of  January  was  named,  His 
temple  was  open  in  war  and  closed  during 
peace, 

LANSING— Robert,  Appointed  Secretary  of 
State  by  President  Wilson,  June,  23,  1915, 

LUTHER—MARTIN,  The  greatest  protestant 
reformer  of  the  16th  century,  Born  at  Eisel- 
eben,  Germany,  1483,  Wrote  his  defy 
against  the  Roman  Church  and  nailed  the 
paper  on  the  door  of  the  church  at  Witten- 
berg, October,  29,  1517,  At  the  Diet  of 
Worms,  before  his  Emperor  Charles  V,  and 
his  powerful  accusers,  he  finished  his  de- 
fense with  the  memorable  words;  "Here  I 


stand;  I  can't  do  otherwise,"  Was  condemn- 
ed to  be  burned,  but  escaped,  He  died  in 
his  native  town'  February  17,  1546 

MAGNA  CHARTA— The  Great  Charter  granted 
by  King  John  of  England  to  the  barons;  is 
the  basis  of  the  English  constitution,  At 
Runnymede  the  barons  forced  their  king  to 
sign  the  Charter  on  June  19,  1215, 

MARNE — River  in  France,  Battle  of  the  Marne 
September  8,  and  9,  1914,  At  this  engage- 
ment the  Germans  were  compelled  to  retire 
to  the  Aisne,  That  battle  not  only  saved 
France,  but  it  demonstrated  that  the  Germans 
could  not  win,  for  their  high  tide  of  invasion 
had  been  reached  and  the  ebb  had  set  in, 
For  that  reason  the  battle  of  the  Marne  will 
no  doubt  take  rank  as  one  of  the  decisive 
battles  of  the  world, 

MEPHISTOPHELES— A  devil,  and  one  of  the 
best  known  personifications  of  evil, 

METARUS— Battle  of  the,  B,  C,,  207,  Claudius 
Nero  and  Marcus  Livius,  combined,  by  forced 
marches  deceived  both  Hannibal  and  Hadrus- 
bal,  Annihilated  the  army  of  the  latter  near 
the  banks  of  the  Metauro,  See  Hannibal, 

MORDKESSEL— der  German,  the  kettle  of 
slaughter,  the  supposed  place  where  Varus 
fell, 

NAPOLEON'S  NEMESIS— England,  who  fought 
Bonaparte  for  sixteen  years  and  finally  de- 
feated him  at  Waterloo, 


OBOLOS — A  small  silver  coin  of  Athens,  value 

three  cents, 

PHILIP  II— King  of  Spain  and  the  Netherlands, 
son  and  successor  of  his  father,  Charles  V, 
Was  born  1527,  During  his  reign  he  used 
all  the  power  of  the  Spanish  Inquisition  to 
crush  all  who  opposed  his  tyranny,  but  the 
effect  in  the  low  countries  was  a  formidable 
revolt,  which  ended  in  1579,  with  the  northern 
part,  the  Seven  United  Provinces,  achieving 
Independence,  Philip  died  in  1598, 

PETER  THE  GREAT— Peter  L,  Alexandreievich, 
born  1672,  In  1703,  on  May  27,  he  laid 
the  foundation  for  a  new  capital,  St  Peters- 
burg, now  called  Petrograd,  In  his  long  con- 
test with  Sweden  the  Russians  were  almost 
always  defeated,  He  had  his  revenge  at  last 
in  totally  rout:ng  the  Swedish  King,  Charles 
XII,  at  Pultowa,  Peter  died  in  1725, 

QUATREBRAS— Also  written,  "Quatre  Bras;" 
was  the  scene  of  a  British  victory  over  the 
French,  under  Marshall  Ney,  on  June  16, 
1815,  being  a  part  of  the  Battle  of  Waterloo, 

TEUTOBERGER-WALDE— A  forest  in  Germany, 
This  region  st'll  retains  the  name,  "Teuto- 
berger-Walde  Teutobergionsis  saltus,"  which 
it  bore  in  the  days  of  Arminius, 

TREATY — Hay-Pauncefote,  between  the  United 
States  and  Great  Britian,  to  facilitate  the 
construction  of  a  ship  canal,  Ratifications 
exchanged  at  Washington,  February  21,  1902, 


TRIPLE  ALLIANCE— Entered  into  by  Germany, 
Austria-Hungary  and  Italy,  May  20,  1882, 
Was  renewed  in  1891  for  a  period  of  12  years 
and  on  June  26,  1902,  was  again  renewed 
for  the  same  period,  terminating  in  the  early 
part  of  December,  1912, 

TRIPLE  ENTENTE— Includes  Great  Britian, 
France  and  Russia,  and  with  the  friendship 
of  Italy,  The  agreement  was  made  between 
Great  Britian  and  France  in  1904  and  with 
Russia  in  1907,  "The  Triple  Entente  Com- 
prising Great  Britian,  France  and  Russia, 
and  the  friendliness  of  Italy,  is  formed  of 
nations  having  a  common  interest  and  who 
are  friendly  toward  each  other,  amounting 
to  a  reciprocal  regard,  Whereas,  the  Triple 
Alliance  is  formed  of  nations  who  have  nothing 
in  common  and  who,  furthermore,  are  mortal 
enemies,  It  is  to  be  noted  in  this  connection 
that  Germany  was  the  only  nation  that  DID 
NOT  offer  condolence  in  regard  to  the  catas- 
trophe causesd  by  the  eruption  of  Vesuvius," 
N,  Y,  World  Encyclopedia, 

VARUS— Quintilius,  Roman  general  sent  by  Aug- 
ustus to  command  the  Roman  Legions  in 
Germany,  in  the  year  A,  D,  7,  See  Arminius, 

VICEGERENT— Having  or  exercising  delegated 
power,  At  the  outbreak  of  the  present  war 
Emperor  Wilhelm  II  illustrated  his  spirit  of 
fanatical  absolutism  by  saying  to  his  army: 


"Remember  that  the  German  people  are  the 
chosen  of  God,  On  me,  as  German  Emperor, 
the  spirit  of  God  has  descended,  I  am  His 
weapon;  His  sword;  His  Vicegerent;  woe  to 
the  disobedient!  Death  to  cowards  and  un- 
believers!" 

WASHINGTON— George,  The  Father  of  his 
Country,  Born  February  22,  1732,  Com- 
mander of  the  Continental  army,  First  presi- 
dent of  the  United  States  of  America,  1789, 
Died  at  Mount  Vernon,  December  14,  1799, 

WILHELM  II— Third  Emperor  of  Germany  and 
Ninth  King  of  Prussia,  Born  at  Berlin,  Jan- 
uary 27,  1859,  Succeeded  his  father,  Fred- 
erick III,  June  15,  1888, 

WILSON — Woodrow,  the  twenty-eighth  presi- 
dent of  the  United  States,  Born  at  Staunton, 
Virginia,  Dec,  28,  1856,.  This  "Scholar  in 
Politics"  has  proven  and  turned  out  to  be 
a  great  man  of  action,  His  war  Message 
to  Congress,  April  2,  1917,  stands  second  to 
no  other  state  paper  in  the  history  of  the 
world,  In  its  importance  to  mankind  it  will 
be  placed  by  posterity  with  the  Magna  Charta, 
Declaration  of  .Inependence  and  Lincoln's 
Proclamation  of  Emancipation, 

XERXES — The  greatest  invador  of  anc'ent 
time,  Born  485,  B,  C,  He  accompanied 
his  forces  on  their  march  through  Thrace, 
Thesaly  and  Locris;  witnessed  the  battle  of 


Thermopylae  and  the  destruction  of  his  fleet 
at  Salamis,  He  was  murdered  by  Artabanus 
in  465,  B,  C, 

ZAMA— Battle  of,  201,  B,  C,,  where  Hannibal 
was  utterly  defeated  by  the  Roman  army 
under  Scipio  Africanus.  This  memorable 
dicisive  battle  compelled  Carthage  to  sue 
for  peace, 

ZEEBRUGGE — A  seaport  of  Belgium,  Province 
of  W,  Flanders,  Zeebrugge  is  now  held  by 
the  Germans  and  is  used  as  a  submarine 
base, 

Declarations  of  War  Previous  to  the  Entrance 
of  the  United  States. 


1914 

July     28— Austria    vs.     Serbia 
Aug.    1 — Germany    vs.    Russia 
Aug.    3 — Germay  vs.   France 
Aug.   4 — Germany  vs.   Belgium 
Aug.    4 — *Prance   vs   Germany 
Aug.    4 — Great   Britian   vs.   Germany 
Aug.    6 — Austria   vs.    Russia 
Aug.     7 — Montenegro     vs.     Russia 
Aug.    10 — France    vs.    Austria 
Aug.    10 — Austria    vs.    France 
Aug.    12 — Great   Britian   vs.    Austria 
Aug.    12 — Montenegro    vs.    Germany 
Aug.    23 — Japan    vs.    Germany 
Aug.   25 — Austria  vs.   Japan 
Aug.    28 — Austria  vs.   Belgium 
Oct.    29 — *Turkey    vs.    Russia 
Nov.    2 — Russia    vs.    Turkey 
Nov.   5 — Great  Britian  vs.  Turkey 
Nov.     5 — France     vs.     Turkey 
NOV>  7 — Belgium  vs.  Turkey 


Nov.    7 — Serbia    vs.    Turkey 
Nov.    10 — Montenegro    vs.    Turkey 

1915 

May    23 — Italy    vs.    Austria 
June   3 — San   Marino  vs.   Austria 
Aug.    20 — Italy    vs.    Turkey 
Oct.     7 — Russia    vs.    Bulgaria 
Oct.    14 — Bulgaria    vs.    Serbia 
Oct.    14 — Great  Britain  vs.   Bulgaria 
Oct.    16 — Bulgaria    vs.    Russia 
Oct.    16 — France   vs.    Bulgaria 
Oct.    18 — Italy   vs.    Bulgaria 
Oct.   18 — Montenegro  vs.   Bulgaria 

1916 

Mar.    9 — Germany    vs.    Portugal 
Mar.    10 — Portugal   vs.    Germany 
Mar.     16 — *  Austria    vs.     Portugal 
Aug.   28 — Italy  vs.  Germany 
Aug.    28 — Rumania    vs.    Austria 
Aug.    28 — Germany  vs.   Rumania 
Aug.    30 — fRumania   vs.   Bulgaria 
Aug.    31 — Turkey    vs.    Rumania 
Sept.   — Bulgaria  vs.   Rumania 
*      Began  hostilities  without  formal 
declaration. 
t     Ultimatum. 


Jftfton  ^ectst&e  Battles  in  %  pttstorg 
of 


BATTLE  OF  MARATHON — B.  C.  490.  Datis  and  Ara- 
phernes,  satraps  of  King  Darius  I,  with  a  force  of 
100,000  men,  are  utterly  put  to  rout  and  defeated 
by  the  Athenians  and  the  Plataens  under  command  o. 
Miltiades,  who  had  but  11,000  men. 

DEFEAT  OF  THE  ATHENIANS — B.  C.  413.  At  Marathon 
the  Athenians  struggled  for  self-preservation  against 
the  invading  armies  of  the  East  and  won  a  glorious 
victory.  At  Syracuse  she  appears  as  the  ambitious 
and  oppressive  invader  of  others  and  was  ingloriously 
defeated. 

BATTLE  OF  ARBELA — B.  C.  331.  Alexander  the  Great 
defeats  Darius  III,  Persian  invader  who  escapes  from 
the  battle  field  to  Bactria,  where  he  was  murdered 
by  his  Bactrian  Satrap,  Bessus. 

BATTLE    OF    THE    METAURUS — B.    C.    207    (See   Notes.) 

VICTORY    OF    ARMINIUS — A.    D.     9     (See    Notes.) 

BATTLE  OF  CHALONS — A.  D.  451.  The  Roman  Gen- 
eral Aetius  and  his  Gothic  Allies  defeat  Attila,  chief 
of  the  Huns,  whose  savage  boast  was  that  grass  never 
grew  on  a  spot  where  his  horse  had  trodden.  This 
battle  took  place  five  miles  from  the  City  of  Chalons- 
Sur-Marne  and  about  sixty  miles  east  from  the  place 
where  was  fought  the  Battle  of  the  Marne,  Septem- 
ber, 6-7-8,  1914,  and  being  the  second  Hun  defeat  on 
that  famous  river. 

BATTLE  OF  TOURS — A.  D.  732.  Charles  Martel  de- 
feats the  Saracens  under  Abderrahman,  who  was  slain 
on  the  field  and  the  Moselm  invaders  put  to  flight. 

BATTLE  OF  HASTINGS — A.  D.  1066.  William  of 
Normandy  defeats  Harold  II  of  England  and  by  that 
victory  becomes  William  I  of  England  and  surnamed 
William  the  Conqueror. 


JOAN  OF  ARC'S  VICTORY — A.  D.  1429.  The  French, 
under  the  inspiring  leadership  of  Joan  of  Arc,  defeat 
the  English  at  Orleans  and  thereby  insured  the  de- 
liverance of  France  from  the  English.  Joan  of  Arc 
was  tried  before  an  ecclesiastical  Tribunal  on  the 
charge  of  Witchcraft,  and  on  the  30th  of  May,  1431, 
she  was  burned  alive  in  the  market  place  at  Rouen. 

DEFEAT  OF  THE  SPANISH  ARMADA — A.  D.  1588. 
(See  Notes.) 

BATTLE  OF  BLENHEIM — A.  D.  1704.  Here  the  am- 
bitious aggression  of  Louis  IV  was  curbed  and  de- 
cisively defeated  by  the  Allies  under  John  Churchill 
Duke  of  Marlborough,  who  never  fought  a  battle  that 
he  did  not  win,  and  never  besieged  a  place  that  he 
did  not  take.  The  Allies  were  England,  Holland, 
Austria,  Prussia  and  Portugal.  After  the  battle  of 
Blenheim,  Ulm,  Landau,  Treves  and  Traerbach  sur- 
rendered to  the  Allies.  Before  the  close  of  the  year 
Bavaria  submitted  to  the  Emperor  and  the  Hungarians 
laid  down  their  arms,  and  Germany  was  completely 
delivered  from  the  military  power  of  Louis  XIV. 

BATTLE    OF    PULTOWA — A.    D.    1709.      (See    Notes.) 

DEFEAT  OF  BURGOYNE — October  7th,  1777.  Being 
the  battle  of  Saratoga,  Revolutionary  War.  5,790 
men  surrendered  to  General  Gates.  Burgoyne's  reg- 
ular troops  amounted,  exclusive  of  the  corps  of 
artillery,  to  about  7200  men,  rank  and  file,  nearly 
half  of  these  were  Germans.  He  had  also  an  auxiliary 
force  of  about  2500  Canadians.  He  sommoned  the 
warriors  of  several  tribes  of  Indians  near  the  Western 
lakes  to  join  his  army. 

BATTLE  OF  VALMY — September  20,  1792.  The  French, 
under  Kellerman,  defeat  the  invading  Prussian  and 
French  noblesse.  The  latter  were  to  lead  the  way 
upon  defenseless  Paris.  On  the  very  day  and  at  the 
selfsame  hour  in  which  the  allied  forces  and  the  em- 
igrants began  to  descend  from  La  Lune,  to  the  attack 
of  Valmy,  and  while  the  cannonade  was  opening  be- 
tween the  Prussian  and  revolutionary  batteries,  the 
debate  in  the  National  Convention  at  Paris  commenced 


on  the  proposal  to  proclaim  France  a  Republic.  On 
the  following  day  the  Proclamation  making  France  a 
Republic  was  issued  and  made  public. 

BATTLE  OF  WATERLOO — June  18,  1815.  Napoleon 
Bonaparte  defeated  by  the  Allies,  under  the  Duke  of 
Wellington.  The  Allies  were  England,  Prussia,  Ba- 
varia, Russia  and  Austria. 

WARS  OF  U.  S. 

War  of  the  Revolution — April   19,   1775  to  April   11,   1783 
War  With  France — July  9,  1798  to  Sept.   30,  1800 
War  With   Tripoli — June    10,    1801    to   June    4,    1805 
Creek   Indian  War — July   27,    1813   to  Aug.    9,    1814 
War  With  Great  Britain — June    12,1812   to  Feb.    17,   1815 
Seminole  Indian  War — Nov.   20,    1817   to   Oct.    21,    1818 
Black  Hawk  Indian  War — April  21,  1831  to  Sept.  30,  1832 
Florida  Indian   War — Dec.    23,   1835   to  Aug.    14,   1843 
War  With   Mexico — April   24,    1846   to   July   4,    1848 
Apache,  Navajo  and  Utah  War — April  24,   1849  to  July  4, 

1885 

Seminole  India  War — April  24,1856  to  July  5,   1865 
Civil  War — April   24,    1861   to  April   9,   1865. 
Spanish  American  War — April   21,   1898   to  Dec.    10,    1898 
War    With    Germany — April    6,    1917     to    -  * 

*To    the    Centennial    year    of   the    first    Seminole    Indian 
War. 


Gazette  Publishing  Company 

.-..*. 
Mariinez,  California 


'I  I        1     4f  *  .  « 

?l.     |     Jill      ,.I      ^frfsi-S     S 

^         fM^              £j                                                                                       ^         J^»          '">j         »*-«                                     C         ^^         ^                      ^.^              JJ              J-J         r-"                                                                                        •» 

d      C    JS^    rQ      >>             fl                        S^*2^»2*fi**Ofc**             rS 

BATTLES 

1 

cc 

QO 

t; 

llJs'S     "J|9j|jk!.«*e3*JiJ 

y?oj  {tjKtiiiiiifSfii 

!•--     ll  3*  l'-^!l     H 

w 

0 

Ci 

rj< 

c 

r: 

•3 

If  ill  ^^•clles.liliyl 

CO 

~ 

^ 

~*     Gi   r—  5     ""     O             '/-      fn"    ai     C/2     ^     ^    H3     fcr  '  f~             ^T                    r/T  **J 

W 

o 

O 
W 

s 

c 

< 

C^     .  .     m              &            *T?     (H            -^                               tll-"~'Ct,^^5j-fc->   •—      ./ 

*S    C    1  &  t^           S^aT^^.^'>e;'T?""t'*''^''^ 
tib^cSO^^           "y'tS            ^-«-»»OOS  ^  CH     2     5*   fc     O  JJ3 

UJ 

:>£'  Marathon, 

•^ 

c 

7 

^C 

C 
— 

^ 

s 

0 

1111!  l!»3i*i*isi!^i.li 
l«:-n  SiiiiiirflfilaH 

%ls-89f]cijfii]li2j|ili 

lii-L^tiiiii^ii.ciln.s0 

c 

E-irJE-lr-c~i        <5^<^E-f<d^^H2&-^H^^H  —  w  — 

5 

4^ 

-5 

O 

* 

i— 

5 

L... 

YC    M677 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  LIBRARY 


